


Nightblood

by Chels17



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Character Death, Clexa, F/F, F/M, Vigilante, hero - Freeform, superhero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-05-24 03:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6139609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chels17/pseuds/Chels17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Clarke and Lexa are passionate about goals that put them at odds with each other from the moment they meet. And now that a crime-fighting vigilante called Nightblood has emerged within Polis, both women and those closest to them are about to be swept up in a war they may not know how to end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The City Planner

“Stop staring!” he hissed.

Lexa’s chin suddenly dropped from her palm as she was jerked back to reality.

“What? I wasn’t staring! Into space maybe. That’s all.”

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. “Right. Like you weren’t watching every step of that blonde as she stormed out.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t make me regret giving you this promotion on your first day.”

Lincoln snickered. “You kidding? This is the best damn decision you’ve made, and you know it.”

“And just like that, arrogance has dropped you down yet another rung on the ladder of success, Mr. Abrams.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, I give in, Commander.” His expression sobered. “But you aren’t really going to give her what she wants, are you?”

A playful smile tugged at Lexa’s lips as she glossed over his question. “She was a feisty one, wasn’t she? The other small business owners have all pretty much asked, ‘How high?’ before we could even finished telling them to jump.”

“I thought she was ridiculous. Thinking she could come in here and tell the city planner how to, well, plan the city!”

“That was very eloquent, Lincoln. What would I do without your running commentary?”

“Oh, shove off.”

“There goes another rung.”

“I think I need some air.”

“Grab me a coffee while you’re at it.”

Lincoln just gaped at her and Lexa couldn’t help but laugh. “Lincoln, what did you expect? You may be my second cousin--which, honestly, hardly makes us related, in my opinion--but here you are my assistant. Since you seem to enjoy voicing the very literal definitions of titles, that means you are here to assist me. Telling all these people they need to uproot their livelihoods today has made me exhausted, and I need a pick me up.”

Lincoln shook his head as he laughed. “You can be really heartless sometimes, you know. Some might even say a bitch.”

Lexa expression remained stoic. “But at least I’m smart and know how to get the job done right, after so many before me have flopped.”

Lincoln shrugged. “Can’t argue with you there, boss. One coffee coming right up.”

“Lincoln!” she called after him before he walked through the door. “You know you’re my righthand man. Now get out.”

He winked. “I know. And I’ll let you keep thinking that until the day I get your job.”

She laughed in spite of herself. “Get out of here, you ass.”

He smirked. “Don’t have to tell me twice!”

Lexa shook her head in disbelief once he had left. “I literally did tell you twice, you idiot,” she laughed to herself. “That boy is the dumbest genius I have ever met.”

Left in her office with only her thoughts, Lexa couldn’t keep them away from the blonde woman who had been in her office a few minutes before. She had been fuming with righteous indignation from the moment she stepped in. That girl would benefit from a little more self-control if she wanted to fight for a cause that was so important to her.

Lexa pushed her chair away from the desk and stood to stretch. She walked over to the large map on the wall and studied the plans she had designed herself. “I’m going to turn things around for you, you know,” she said, tapping the map with her pencil. “Make you the city you never were for me. These people deserve better.”

She winced as a sharp pain shot up her leg. This latest injury was going to make tonight’s activities a bit more difficult. Lexa sat back down at her desk and massaged the area around her right knee, willing it to heal as soon as possible.

* * *

 

“Damn, Clarke. What’s wrong with you? Did someone else finally tell you those random red streaks in your hair look dumb?”

“Shut up, Raven,” she murmured.

Her roommate’s expression immediately phased from sarcasm to concern. “Hey, something really is wrong. What’s up?”

Clarke sunk into the couch and pinched the bridge of her nose, already feeling the migraine coming on.

Raven plopped down next to her and just waited until her friend was ready to talk.

After a minute Clarke let out a long sigh. “It’s actually happening. The city’s shutting down my clinic.”

“No!” Raven gasped. Clarke--or Saint Griffin, as she liked to tease--had started a health clinic for the homeless in the city just over a year ago, and had vastly improved the quality of life for hundreds in that time.

“But why? You’re a licensed doctor and you worked damn hard to make sure you jumped through every hoop to make this dream a reality.”

Clarke shook her head. “It’s nothing legal. It’s all aesthetics.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, clearly not following her train of thought.

“It’s that new city planner, the visionary one who’s supposed to take our Lazarus city and raise it from the dead. Sure, she may have all these delusions of grandeur that our city and, hell, even state leaders are ecstatic about, but what about when it interferes with the lives we already have in place? How is that supposed to improve our standard of living?”

“So, what’s going to happen to the clinic?”

“It will be razed to the ground for some kind of free public transportation. A high speed rail system with access points all over the city. They’re calling it Polis Trax... short for transit express, or something stupid like that.”

Raven tried to smother her grin. “Okay, believe me, I know this is a huge blow for you, Clarke, but you have to admit that idea is pretty cool. Like, if it weren’t going through your clinic, of course.”

Clarke shot her a look of betrayal. “How could you even-”

“Look, pretend for one second that you and the clinic had nothing to do with this. Imagine being able to get around the city on something other than your bike or the godawful busses we have that smell like weed and take three times longer than necessary to get anywhere. And it’s free? That will be huge for the city, Clarke.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re even on my side!” She noticed her friend wince at her words. “Leave it to Raven Reyes to be seduced by an upgrade in technology.”

“Shut up, Griffin. And c’mon, won’t the city compensate you for the loss? Won’t that help you start up a new place?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Yes, but you’re missing the point, Raven. _That’s_ my place. The place I started with my mom. It feels like the most tangible piece of her I still have.”

Raven nodded. “I get that, Clarke. I really do. I don’t mean to sound insensitive. I’m sorry.”

Clarke waved off the apology. “Don’t be. I know I’m being overly sentimental about this. And I’m sure it will be a great benefit to the city.” Her expression quickly turned sour. “Ugh, but you should have seen that woman, Raven! The new city planner. She was so high and mighty in her tall tower of superiority overlooking us mere peasants.”  
  
“I think you may be exaggerating...”

“Hardly!” Clarke scoffed. “She didn’t even care that she was shattering my life dream, and I’m quite certain she had just delivered the same news to several other people. She was completely stoic and unfeeling. She just laid out the facts, told me her canned speech of how I’d be playing a great part in the rebirth of our city... blah, blah, blah. Like she cares. She’s probably from some big city and thinks she can pattern us after whatever bustling metropolis she comes from.”

Raven refrained from answering and instead pointed to the newspaper Clarke was using as a buffer between her feet and the coffee table.

“What?” Clarke asked, clearly annoyed. “Suddenly have a problem with my feet on-”

“No, idiot,” Raven interjected. She swiped the newspaper and shoved it in her face.

“Does Jasper have some great new article again? Why are you changing the sub-”

“ _Look_ , Griffin.”

Clarke read the front page headline: “Polis Native Revitalizes City.”

Raven smirked as understanding dawned on Clarke. “Looks like you don’t know everything, Griffin. You should read this. She’s actually from the slums, believe it or not. Came from one of the worst backgrounds you could imagine and fought her way out so that she could come back and make things better. Sounds like a pretty good person to rub shoulders with, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t.” Clarke was obviously still bitter and moody, but less so than when she first burst in. That was a win in Raven’s book.

Raven glanced back at the table and picked up yesterday’s paper. “And check this out. Have you heard about the masked guy who’s been taking out gangsters? Apparently he’s called _Nightblood_. Pretty freaking cool.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard about him,” Clarke mumbled. “As if Polis needs another reason to be the laughingstock of the county. Now we have our own _superhero_.”

“I’d consider him more of a vigilante, actually.”

“What, no super powers? What a shame.”

“Whatever, Dr. Griffin. You know you’re the real superhero here. You save lives every day!”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “You can stop trying to make me feel better.” She studied the blurry photo of the anonymous vigilante. “That’s a woman, by the way.”

“What?” Raven was incredulous. “No way. That’s totally a guy.”

“Nope. Obviously feminine contour.”

Raven snickered. “Yeah, you would know.”

“I’m a doctor. Of course I would know.”

“Haha, right. That’s exactly what I meant.” Raven glanced back at the paper. “This photo’s too distant to see anything anyway. It’s the best one they’ve gotten so far, though. Monty really needs to step up his game.”

Clarke laughed for the first time in hours. “You know, it’s hilarious that those two are still tag teaming it after all these years. First in high school, as editor and photographer for the school yearbook, and now they’re working together at the Polis Sentinel. Pretty damn impressive.”

Raven laughed too. “It really is! Especially since they nearly got kicked out senior year right before graduation.” 

“I can’t believe they managed to hide all that moonshine in time.”

“What they had was a gift.”

“Indeed it was.” Clarke smiled at her friend, grateful that she somehow always knew how make her laugh after a crappy day. She leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes, replaying her conversation with that awful woman, and wondering where she should start looking for the new clinic.


	2. Bandages and Brothels

_*One week later*_

Lexa heard her phone vibrate and walked over to her desk to check the notification. She smiled when she saw her girlfriend's name on the screen.

_Costia: When will you be home tonight, babe? I'm making dinner as we speak_

_Lexa: Wait, actually making dinner? Or is that code for ordering take-out? ;)_

_Costia: No way. Definitely homemade. As in, from scratch. As in, your favorite lasagna._

_Lexa: What did I tell you about sending me flirty texts while I'm trying to be professional?_

_Costia: Literally rolling my eyes._

_Lexa: You know you could just send the eye rolling emoji. More time effective. And funnier._

_Costia: Literally rolling my eyes. Again. Anyway, that wasn't flirty at all. Totally playing by the rules here._

_Lexa: Whatever. You know your cooking is food porn._

_Costia: I do know ;) But you still haven't answered my question!_

_Lexa: Babe, you know I can't ever tell for sure when I'll be home. But I currently have nothing EC planned after work, so 7?_

Lexa smirked. EC was short for "extracurricular" and code for her nighttime excursions. Costia of course knew everything about Lexa's... alternative lifestyle, and neither could chance that information falling into the wrong hands.

_Costia: Great! I'll be hot and ready. I mean dinner. Dinner will be hot and ready._

_Lexa: You're ridiculous. You know that, right?_

_Costia: Yes and you know you love it :)_

_Lexa: You know I do :)_

_Costia: Now get back to work. Sheesh. Slacker._

_Lexa. Haha fine. See you in a couple hours_

_Costia: Love you!_

_Lexa: Love you too!_

Lexa smiled again knowing she was the luckiest girl alive.

* * *

"Hey, Clarke, want some chicken parmesan?" Raven poked her head around the corner when she received no response. "Clarke!"

Clarke jumped and put a hand over her heart. "God, Raven, why'd you have to shout?"

"You didn't answer the first time," she shrugged. "I just asked if you wanted some of this chicken. It's really good, but I made too much."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks. Just leave it out and I'll... Oh my god."

"What is it?"

"How is this possible? Why would she do this?" Clarke muttered to herself.

"Hey, what's going on?" She paused for a beat and got no response. "Earth to Clarke!" Raven sat down next to her at the table and waved a hand in front of her face.

"This," Clarke stated, handing her clipboard to Raven. "Look at line 13."

"Lexa Woods," she read. "Oh my god. No way! She signed up to volunteer at the clinic? That's so cool!"

Clarke groaned. "Why the hell would she do this?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "I dunno, maybe because she likes giving back to the community she's working to rebuild?"

"But this is personal now. There are other places she could do that, but she's choosing to come to _my_ clinic."

"Maybe she wants to show that what she's doing for the city actually _isn't_ personal against you."

"Whatever, Reyes. Now, where's that chicken?"

* * *

Clarke showed up at the clinic the next afternoon with a chip on her shoulder, and even a few of her patients asked if she was okay. She would quickly resume her doctor smile and assure them she was fine, but in the back of her mind loomed the inevitable fact that Lexa Woods would be showing up at 5:30 PM to lend a hand. But, as usual, Clarke quickly was immersed in her gratifying work and the dreaded hour arrived much sooner than anticipated.

"Dr. Griffin?"

"Just one moment, please!" Clarke called out to the voice behind her without turning so she could keep her attention on her patient, a woman in her mid-sixties who had suffered a bad fall that morning.

"There you go, Mrs. Carlson. Keep your wrist wrapped like this as much as possible; the compression will help control the swelling. That's a pretty good sprain, so it will definitely be sensitive for a while. Can you come back next week so I can have another look?"

Mrs. Carlson nodded her head and smiled. "Yes, of course. Thank you, Doctor."

Clarke returned the smile. "You're very welcome. I'll walk you out."

Clarke stopped short when she turned and put a face to the voice that had called to her a minute before. "Oh, right," she said curtly. "Ms. Woods. I'll be back in just a moment."

Lexa was fully aware that Clarke probably did not want her here, so she gave a polite smile and slight nod and said nothing.

"Ms. Woods?" Mrs. Carlson asked excitedly as she approached her. "Lexa Woods? Oh, you're the young dear who is working so hard to make our city a better place!" She started to hold out her right hand to shake Lexa's, then winced at the pain when she remembered that wrist was the reason she was there. She smiled bashfully and stuck out her left hand.

Lexa couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her as she returned the somewhat awkward left-handed handshake. The older woman had such kind eyes. "You're welcome," she replied intently. "But it's certainly not just me. It will take a long time, and lot of people are working very hard to make these changes a reality."

Mrs. Carlson just nodded happily and let Clarke escort her out. The beauty of Lexa's sincere smile was not lost on Clarke, but it was definitely tainted by her low opinion of the city planner.

Clarke reluctantly returned to her new volunteer and picked up her clipboard. She was all business. "Alright, Ms. Woods. On behalf of the clinic, I want to thank you for volunteering your time-"

"You don't have to pretend to be cordial, Dr. Griffin," Lexa interjected with a knowing smirk.

_This woman is insufferable! Coming here and then interrupting me. And giving me that look!_

"Fine, then I'll be honest. Why are you really here?"

Lexa shrugged. "I just want to lend a hand. I almost went into the medical field myself, actually. I was studying to be a paramedic for about a year, so you don't have to worry about me fainting."

Clarke couldn't stand that playful smile anymore. Ugh. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Lexa could read her like a book and dropped the smile. "Plus, I want you to know that I do care, Clarke, about the work you're doing here. I think it's very important and I know you'll continue it just as you're doing now. You could move mere blocks from here and lose at most a day in the process of moving."

Clarke refused to make this easy for her. "Do you have any idea how many people we help here in a day?"

Lexa didn't bother responding the question. It was rhetorical, anyway.

"Look, like I said, I do care about what you're doing here and fully appreciate the fact that this establishment has been here for years, but it's my job to think of the bigger picture and consider what course of action will benefit the most people."

"Can't you change the Trax route?"

There was a pleading in Clarke's eyes that tugged at Lexa's heart, but she shook her head. "This route is the most cost-efficient. Unless you have the tens of thousands of dollars requisite for a new route, I highly doubt that change would be approved. This is simply the most logical location."

She didn't want Clarke to hate her and tried to convey her empathy. After all, Lexa had had more than her fair share of being completely uprooted from one life and forced to start a new one.

Lexa continued, "But I know this area of the city like the back of my hand and can give you information about available locations that seem well suited for a new clinic."

Clarke tried to contain the frustration she was feeling. "No, thanks. I don't need your help." She sighed and looked back at her clipboard, forcing herself to get back to the task at hand. "There's another name here next to yours. Costia?"

"Yes, my girlfriend. She's actually really excited to volunteer." Lexa couldn't help the smile that returned. "She should be here any- Ah, there she is now!"

Clarke spun around and saw a woman the same height as Lexa with long, curly brown hair and olive skin. "Hey, babe," She said in a rush and gave Lexa a quick peck on the cheek. "So sorry I'm late, Dr. Griffin." She stuck out her hand. "My name's Costia."

Clarke smiled in spite of herself as she shook her hand. Costia seemed kind to a fault and besides, Clarke's grievances were with Lexa, not her. "It's very good to meet you. Thank you so much for wanting to help us out."

Lexa silently let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding and her tense muscles relaxed, grateful that Clarke didn't extend the animosity for her to her girlfriend.

"Of course!" Costia declared cheerfully, unaware of the prior tension in the room as she removed her jacket and scarf and placed them on a nearby coat rack. "Now, what can we do?"

Clarke seamlessly assumed her medical visage once again and put them to work.

Over the next several weeks, Costia came to volunteer quite a few times and would pass along Lexa's apologies that her busy schedule kept her from coming more often. Clarke was reluctant to admit to herself that Costia's sweet temperament and willingness to serve was somehow mitigating the anger she felt toward Lexa, but it was happening nonetheless. How could someone so kind be with someone who was heartless? It just didn't add up. That along with all the stories Costia would tell, most of them humorous ones involving Lexa, and Clarke started to feel like she was getting to know her "enemy" a little better.

* * *

Lexa closed her eyes, reveling the feeling of adrenaline coursing through her veins. The crisp, chill air signaled that autumn was fast approaching. Darkness settled sooner and sooner each night, which suited her purposes well.

She was perched on a rooftop overlooking an old warehouse, very satisfied with her night's work. She had finally just located the brothel of a local pimp involved in human trafficking who had eluded the law for over a decade, and as much as she yearned to go down there and tear apart the whole place herself, she knew this one was for the cops to bust.

She whipped out her "work phone" and tapped to dial one of the few saved numbers. It was answered after one ring.

"Hey, Night. What's up?"

"Detective Blake, Christmas just came early."

Lexa had been operating as Nightblood and working with Detective Blake for nearly three months now. Octavia had been understandably skeptical at first, but Nightblood continually delivered impressive results and worked with the law, not around it.

Octavia grinned, already standing up from her desk in anticipation. "Excellent. What have you got for me?"


	3. Murder and Wine

_*One week later*_

Lexa's nimble feet flitted across the roof of her apartment building until she reached her destination. They chose the top floor for a reason. She noiselessly dropped onto her balcony and entered through the sliding door. She tried to close it as quietly as possible and gasped when she felt arms wrap around her torso from behind. Lexa let out the breath and turned around in the embrace.

"Don't tell me I scared you," Costia snickered.

"I didn't expect you to be awake! It's past three in the morning."

"I know. It's just hard for me to sleep when you're out there doing who knows what."

Lexa raised a eyebrow. "You know perfectly well what I'm doing."

"Can't you just accept the fact that I'm always going to be worried about you? This is still pretty new for me too."

Lexa nodded and let herself melt into the embrace. "I know." After a minute she pulled back to look at her girlfriend. "I'm gonna take a quick shower and then I'll join you in bed."

Costia looked at her intently for a moment and then grinned as she pushed Lexa back against the sliding door. Her fingers lightly traced the dark streaks that extended below Lexa's eyes. "This makeup is amazing, you know. You are seriously skilled. And your hair in these braids is epic and beautiful! You just look so different. I mean, I can obviously tell it's you, but you really do take on this whole other persona like this. Not to mention these wonderfully tight black clothes. Have I ever told you how fierce and fantastic you look as Nightblood?"

Lexa swallowed hard. She was not expecting this, but it was definitely not unwelcome. She smirked back. "You may have mentioned it once or twice before."

Costia placed her hands on Lexa's hips to anchor her against the door and leaned in to place light, teasing kisses along her jawline until she reached her lips. Lexa shivered at the touch and smiled into the kiss. She knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight, and right now she couldn't care less.

* * *

_*Later that day*_

Clarke stopped on the sidewalk and looked up from her phone, double-checking that the address she had matched the one on the building in front of her. She'd been looking at potential locations for her new clinic for weeks and nothing seemed quite right. She only had a month left before the demolition and she was starting to get anxious. Clarke took a deep breath and pulled out the key the property realtor had given her. As soon as she opened the door she knew it wasn't a good fit either. Even just the low ceilings and lack of windows was a major turn off, and the floorplan was too cramped.

She dropped into a random leftover wooden chair and let her head fall back in frustration. Only a moment later a crack from beneath her broke the silence as the chair collapsed and left her sprawled on the floor. She lay flat on her back as a laugh of disbelief escaped her.

"Well, that about sums up my week," she announced to the empty building. Clarke slowly stood up, rubbing her sore backside. "No wonder they left you here," she muttered to the wood debris scattered around her. She sighed, tired and exasperated, and decided it was finally time to turn to her absolute last resort. She pulled out the business card that had been sitting in her wallet for the last two months and grumpily punched the number into her phone.

*Ring*

*Ring*

_Please don't pick up... Just let me leave a message..._

*Ring*

"Hello, Lexa Woods speaking."

 _Damn it_. There was that professional, silky smooth voice again.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Clarke cleared her throat. "Yeah, hi, it's Dr. Griffin, er - Clarke."

"Clarke! Hello! What can I do for you?"

Clarke rolled her eyes at the chipper voice and its bitter contrast to her current mood. She sighed, which wasn't missed by Lexa. "I'm calling for that help you offered forever ago. I still can't find a new location for my clinic, and you said before that you know this city like the back of your hand, so I'm wondering if you have any possible leads for me to follow up on."

"Ah, yes, of course. Give me a day to compile a list of potentials and I'll give you a call tomorrow. Will that work for you?"

"Yeah, that would be great. Thank you. And I hope it's not a bother."

"Not at all, Clarke. I truly am sorry this needs to happen, so I'm more than happy to help. Can I reach you at this number?"

"Yeah, this is my cell. And thanks. I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

"Have a good day, Clarke."

"You too. Bye."

Clarke ended the call and sighed again. Now that that was done, she felt like a small part of her weight had been lifted. She started for home and decided a long, hot shower was exactly what she needed. Raven would probably even be up for a donut run later on, which was the only kind of run Clarke liked, and that right there was a winning combination for a miserable day.

* * *

After an hour Lexa felt that she had a pretty satisfactory list in front of her. Clarke was sure to like one of these places, and she had a feeling she knew exactly the one. Her work day was technically over and she took off her blazer to let her body breathe a little better. She freed her hair from the bun that had constrained it since early that morning and ran her fingers through, massaging out the stress of the day. She closed her eyes and let her mind go blank.

Her peace was soon cut short at the sound of her phone buzzing. She quickly realized it was her "other" phone and reached deep into her purse to retrieve it.

"Hello, Detective," she answered.

"Hey, Night. Ready for some action?"

This side job certainly didn't leave Lexa much down time.

"Always. What have you got for me?"

Octavia sighed. "This one's pretty bad, actually. You know I don't reach out to you very often, but I think we may have a serial killer on our hands."

Lexa's eyebrows furrowed. "Has there ever been a serial killer in Polis?"

"Not really. I mean, we've had our fair share of drug lords and gang members who kill for their agenda, but this one's different. Doesn't seem to be affiliated with any kind of gang or other group. A lone wolf. And the craziest part? We're pretty certain it's a woman, and only about 15% of serial killers are women."

"Okay, what else can you give me? What murders have you connected her to so far, and what makes you think they're related? Same M.O.?"

"Yeah, and here's the thing with female serial killers. They tend to be better at operating under the radar and are less likely to have a criminal history. I just got back from the crime scene of the third murder in the last eight months that seems eerily familiar. The victims have been young women in their 20s-30s who all sustained an odd combination of identical injuries. The right knee cap is broken, several ribs are cracked from a blow to the sternum, and finally the trachea is crushed."

Lexa covered her mouth to silence the gasp she let out after hearing these details. _It couldn't be, could it? After all this time?_

Octavia continued. "This is a horribly painful way to die, and two such deaths months apart seemed like coincidence, but I can't think that after the third. These were calculated attacks; I'm just not sure what common denominator might be linking these three women. If we can crack that, we might be able to anticipate the killer's next target."

Lexa swallowed hard, trying to mask any emotion. "I agree, Detective; this doesn't seem like coincidence at all. Have you found out anything else about the identity of the murderer?"

"We're working on it, Night. I'm just telling you what I know because I'm hoping you might have a way to help us. I don't know how, but we certainly need all the help we can get."

* * *

Clarke wrapped up her shift at the clinic the next day and couldn't shake the anxious tingling throughout her body. The worst part was that she couldn't pinpoint exactly why she felt it. She and Lexa had arranged to meet up after the shift so they could look at a few of the places on Lexa's list. But she didn't think she was anxious about Lexa. Sure, they had gotten off to a rocky start, but Clarke no longer felt personally victimized by Lexa's choices like she had at first. She understood the logic behind it all; her clinic just happened to be the unfortunate collateral damage in the revitalization of the city. She didn't quite feel at ease with Lexa like she did with Costia, but she'd only actually seen the former several times, while she'd worked with her girlfriend about once a week for the last couple months.

She might also be nervous that she was getting her hopes up too much, placing too much faith in a woman she hardly knew. Clarke didn't like to think of herself as hardheaded, but she definitely didn't buy into popular hypes, and for the last few months the new city planner had been one of those hypes that people loved. Whether the buzz was over a new movie, restaurant, scandal, or tragedy, it always eventually blew over.

Clarke would never admit in a million years that she actually felt the smallest tinge of jealousy towards Lexa. Everything seemed perfect in her life: fantastic job, public approval and popularity, a loving relationship... Did the list end? Clarke knew Lexa had a rough childhood, but that woman just seemed to be walking in the light now. Not that Clarke sought after popularity, but she'd be lying if she didn't admit it would be nice to get some recognition every now and then for the work she did to help the city. She immediately shook off these thoughts, however, knowing she needed to focus and she truly felt no ill well towards the other woman. Even with all the great things in Lexa's life, she was surprisingly grounded and seemed to have her head screwed on straight. She was a good person.

"Clarke!"

Dr. Griffin quickly snapped out of her reverie. "Oh, hey!" She couldn't help staring at the wide smile Lexa flashed her as she entered the clinic. She really was beautiful. Her dark brown hair was loose, cascading down her shoulders, and this was the first time she had seen Lexa in jeans instead of slacks.

"Ms. Woods, is it possible that you're actually dressed down today? Just for me?" Clarke smirked and Lexa returned it.

"Do you greet everyone who walks into your clinic with this kind of sass, Dr. Griffin?"

"Only the ones who deserve it."

"Ha! Will I ever earn forgiveness from the good doctor?"

Clarke smiled. "You might be on your way there. Depends how good your list is."

"Ah, yes!"

Lexa started digging through her purse and her business demeanor was back in place as she focused on the task. The break in eye contact brought Clarke back to her senses and she realized that banter had just happened naturally and easily between them. She also noted that anxious feeling in her gut was gone. Before she could further analyze how weird this was, those green eyes were level with hers again.

"Found it! I swear, it doesn't matter what size my purse is," she laughed, "I manage to lose everything in it. I can keep other things organized, but my bags are just portable black holes."

Clarke giggled. "I know the feeling. Now let's see what you've got for me."

Lexa smiled again, obviously excited to show Clarke what she had found.

"Okay, there were quite a few places I had in mind initially, but really I knew that only one of these three places was going to be good enough, so that's all we're looking at."

"Ah, don't get my hopes up too high, Woods! I'm definitely looking forward to seeing these, but I've already looked at soooooo many places. I lost count after a dozen."

Lexa placed a comforting hand on Clarke's upper arm. "Don't worry, Clarke. I have a good feeling about these. I think today's gonna be the day."

Clarke nodded. "Okay then. Let's do this."

Lexa knew the first two locations were excellent candidates, but she also knew the last one was going to win Clarke over. She was aware of some of the places Clarke had looked at previously, and none of them were the right fit. Lexa's picks were out of the ghetto and more dangerous parts of the city, while still being easily accessible to those of Clarke's patients who might come from those parts. They all had plenty of windows, letting in the natural light that was essential for any healing facility, as well as having more than ample floorspace to meet the clinic's needs.

Lexa closely watched Clarke's face as they toured the first two locations. She immediately lit up, already loving what she saw. By the time they left the second place Clarke was practically giddy. Lexa loved seeing this side of her; she got the impression the joyful, carefree Clarke was not one that surfaced nearly often enough.

Clarke turned to her with a sparkle in her bright, blue eyes as they exited building number two. "Oh, Lexa, how will I be able to pick? Especially if the last one is just as good as these? I can't believe you really did it!"

"Ouch! Doctor, should I be offended by your lack of confidence?"

Clarke's smile turned bashful. "You know I didn't mean it that way!"

Lexa chuckled. "I know, I know. But remember, you haven't seen the last place yet. You promised to keep an open mind for all three."

"Yes, I did. But I have to admit I can be a bit indecisive sometimes, and I'm afraid having another great option will make this too hard."

"Well, you've trusted me this far," Lexa said with a wink. "Trust me just a little longer. I think when the time comes to choose, you'll know."

Clarke nodded with a smile and they walked the four blocks to the final location with a comfortable silence between them.

Lexa started to feel nervous for the first time that day as they approached the building. What if she didn't love it after all? But it was too late to turn back now.

Her fears quickly subsided when Clarke gasped before they had even reached the door.

"Is this it?"

Lexa nodded with a small smile.

"Ooh, look at all the windows!" she squealed in delight. "And there are trees, Lexa. Trees! How many parts of downtown Polis actually have trees and flowers that aren't dead? Did you know studies have proven that patients in long-term rehabilitation heal more quickly when they have a view of nature? Not that I have long-term patients like that, but still. Nature does wonders for the human spirit."

Lexa couldn't suppress her grin. "And don't worry; soon there will be many more beautiful parts of our city. Adding a little more flora to our neighborhoods is a main part of my agenda."

Clarke looked at her in surprise and admiration and was grateful Lexa's gaze was captured by the distance so she couldn't see it.

Lexa turned her attention back to the task at hand. She unlocked the door to the third building and opened it wide, gesturing for Clarke to enter.

"After you, doctor."

Clarke gave a faint smile and nod of her head. "Why, thank you." She entered the building and stopped after just two steps. Lexa watched her reaction intently, but it was hard to get a read on her emotions. Clarke just stood there with her mouth slightly agape, then quickly started moving about the entire place wordlessly. The fact that she was staying quiet started to drive Lexa mad, so she finally broke the silence after two full minutes.

"Well? What do you think?" She called out to the empty space since Clarke had vanished a few moments before into a separate room.

Clarke quickly reappeared with a look of sheer joy.

"Lexa," she whispered, eyes fixed on Lexa's to convey her sincerity. "This is _perfect._ Oh my goodness. I love it. I absolutely love it. Every little thing about it. And I haven't even checked out the second floor."

Lexa finally let out the deep breath she had been holding in anticipation. "I'm so glad! You weren't giving me any reaction there!"

Clarke laughed. "Sorry about that. My expression tends to go neutral when I'm lost in my thoughts. But this is it. Without a doubt."

The largest grin Clarke had ever seen on Lexa was currently plastered across her face.

"Excellent!" The brunette called out. "Then I think this calls for a celebration!"

Clarke raised a questioning eyebrow as Lexa gave two quick claps and cleared her throat ceremoniously.

"Ahem! Will my lovely assistant please reveal the housewarming gifts for Doctor Griffin?"

Clarke didn't think she could be more confused until she heard a "Hooray!" call out from the floor above her. She jerked her head up to the source of the sound and saw Costia cheering as she leaned over the second floor landing. Clarke placed a hand over her mouth to suppress a surprised giggle, when suddenly Costia tugged on a string that let loose a banner that was draped over part of the landing that read:

"Welcome home, Doctor Griffin!"

Clarke was wide-eyed and absolutely speechless as she kept looking back and forth between Lexa, Costia, and the banner. Costia quickly came down the stairs, and approached the other two women triumphantly holding up a bottle of wine and handed it to Clarke.

Clarke let out a laugh of disbelief. "What is all this?"

Costia smiled. "Lex said she knew which one you would pick, and she was right! And don't worry, I stashed glasses under the counter over there so we don't have to drink from the bottle like heathens."

Costia winked at Lexa and scampered off after the glasses. Clarke turned to Lexa, who just stood there smiling like a fool.

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "You were so sure I would choose this place that you set all this up? Even had Costia waiting here? What if I hadn't liked it? Or what if we hadn't even made it to the last one?"

Lexa shrugged with a grin. "Let's just say I was banking on instinct. Besides, it is literally my job to figure out people's wants and needs when it comes to design, and make them my wants and needs until I find the right fit."

Clarke just nodded, flabbergasted and speechless once again.

Costia returned and Lexa poured the wine. Their cries of "Cheers!" were met with clinking glasses, and all Clarke could do was laugh and marvel at the luck of finding both her new clinic and these two unlikely friends.


	4. You Can't Fix This

_*one month later*_

When Lexa had snuck into the bank where hostages were being held she had no idea the heist was just a diversion, and no idea the trap that was about to spring was set just for her.

She had easily knocked out the two guards at the back entrance and crept towards the main lobby of the bank to get a visual on the situation. She was able to get there about two minutes before the police and kept Detective Blake apprised of what she was seeing.

There were four men with automatic rifles and white streaks across their face masks who were keeping eleven hostages at bay. Just then, the lead put a finger to his ear, listening to some electronic communication he was receiving. Lexa watched as he motioned to the door and his three accomplices nodded in understanding. She knew then that something was off. Why would they all suddenly leave? Did they know the police would be arriving any second? But wouldn't they have left at least one of their men to watch the hostages, or were they bailing on the plan altogether? Were there more of them hidden in the building?

Lexa remained in her position, not willing to reveal herself just yet in case the men with the masks were watching or about to return. She scanned over the hostages. Their hands were tied, gags were in their mouths, and they were definitely scared, but no one seemed seriously harmed.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late!" Raven called out as she rushed to join the group. "But now I'm here so the party can officially begin. Plus, I brought demo day donuts!"

"What kind of donuts?" Costia asked innocently.

Raven giggled. "I picked up a box of mine and Clarke's favorite donuts to help commemorate the day of the clinic's demolition. Hence, demo day donuts."

"You are such an idiot," Clarke laughed in spite of herself.

"And you love me for it."

"You know I do," Clarke relented with a grin. She suddenly furrowed her eyebrows, looking at something behind Raven. "Is that...?"

"Hey, guys!" Jasper and Monty called out in the adorkable way only they could pull off.

"Dude, we have the best timing," Jasper said to his buddy as they approached. "Raven brought donuts!"

"You guys are the worst!" Raven laughed. "If I had known you were coming, I would have bought a separate dozen just for the two you!"

"Don't mind Raven," Clarke said with a smile as she hugged the guys.

 _We never do,_ Jasper mouthed over Clarke's shoulder so only Raven could see, to which she teased a shaking fist.

Clarke continued, totally oblivious to the exchange of sarcasm, "I'm glad you're here! But how did you even know we were doing this?"

"Please, you know it's our job to know everything," Jasper commented dryly.

"Right," Clarke laughed. "Now let me introduce you to Costia, she's -"

"-girlfriend of Lexa Woods, our city planner," Monty finished with a grin.

"And you're Jasper Jordan and Monty Green," Costia interjected, "top writer and photographer, respectively, for the Polis Sentinel."

"See, dude," Jasper said, punching Monty in the arm, "told you we'd be getting respect one day."

"How right you were," Monty responded without missing a beat.

"I can't even handle you two," Raven commented, shaking her head.

The group burst into laughter that was quickly interrupted by raging sirens that blurred past them.

"Three, four, FIVE cop cars!" Monty counted aloud. "I smell a story," he said, giving Jasper a knowing look.

Jasper quickly turned to Clarke. "I'm so sorry. I know we just got here, but would you hate us terribly if we go follow this?"

"Of course not!" Clarke said sincerely. "Get out of here. You better get the best damn story on whatever's going down."

"You know we will!" Monty grinned as he and Jasper jumped back into their car and tore off after the police cruisers.

"Hey, Costia, you okay?" Raven asked, quickly drawing Clarke's attention to the other girl, who suddenly seemed very concerned.

"I'm sure whatever is happening will turn out just fine," Raven continued, trying to get a feel for what was causing her grief.

"No, no, it's not that..." she responded, though she was clearly distracted.

A sickening explosion suddenly erupted from about four blocks away, exactly where the cops were headed.

Costia's hand shot up to cover her mouth and she looked like she was on the brink of tears.

"Damn," Raven stated. "You know I love explosives, but that one couldn't mean anything good."

"I'm so sorry," Costia said, trying to hold back the tears. "But I have to go too. I'm sorry I can't explain more, but I'll try to be back soon." She hoped Clarke knew she was sincere.

"Yeah, of course," Clarke said, a bit numb and confused from all the commotion.

"I wanna check this out too, Clarke," Raven said without taking her gaze from the smoke that was billowing higher into the air. "For science, of course," she added with a wry smile. "The demolition isn't scheduled for like another hour, right? Let's go see what's going on."

Clarke shook her head; she didn't quite have the stomach for the scene of destruction and death that very well may await whoever went. She had no trouble caring for patients when they were brought to her, but it was a whole different story if she actually saw the scene herself. She had been in the fire that killed her dad so many years ago. She was lucky to be alive, and that event is what really spurred her into medicine. She wanted to help fix people the way she couldn't fix him. But seeing where the tragedies happened always proved to be too reminiscent of that night.

"Okay," Raven replied, understanding a little bit about how Clarke felt about these things. "I won't be gone long." She popped up the kickstand on her bike and took off down the sidewalk.

Clarke remained rooted in the same spot for several minutes just watching the smoke continue to climb, hearing the sirens blaring, as people continued to flock to the scene she thankfully couldn't see.

"Doctor Griffin!" a disembodied voice hissed.

Clarke looked around, confused. "Hello?" The street looked deserted.

"In here!"

Was the voice coming from inside the clinic? She warily neared the front door when she saw the figure mostly concealed within the dark building.

"Who are you and what are you doing in there? Don't you know it's about..." she stopped short when she realized who she was speaking to. "Nightblood?"

"Yes, and I need your help. Badly. Come off the street so no one sees you." Lexa kept her voice in its lower range, not allowing the normal lilt come through.

Clarke didn't care who she was talking to - any invitation to step into a dark building with a stranger was cause for caution.

"I'm not going to harm you, I promise." She said, sensing Clarke's hesitation. Clarke heard her sharp intake of breath as the woman clearly struggled to keep her breathing even. "I'm the one who's hurt. Please, I need you."

Hearing that immediately switched Clarke into Dr. Griffin mode and she stepped inside. She gasped when she saw that the cloth Nightblood had pressed over her leg was soaked with blood.

"Come to this back room," she urged. "It still has power. But I have to tell you this building is going to be demolished within the hour and I don't have any of my tools or anything here anymore." They stepped inside the room and Clarke flipped on the light.

Lexa didn't know what terrified her more, the fact that she could be critically injured or that Clarke could recognize her.

Clarke examined the woman before her; every inch of her was covered in a layer of black and gray bomb residue along with splatters of blood here and there. Nightblood's hair was wild with some of it braided, and the few patches that weren't charcoal-colored looked to be brown. Some no doubt was even irreparably singed from the heat of the blast. Her face had a similar sooty look, the area around her eyes even darker with Nightblood's trademark war paint beneath the filth. Clarke processed all this within a moment, still a bit stunned that she had this legend here with her. There were so many things she wished she could ask! But now was obviously not the time.

"It's my leg," the woman coughed. "I can deal with the rest myself."

"You'll need to get your lungs checked too," Clarke commented as she began unwrapping the crude tourniquet that had been hastily applied to the wound. She always tried to maintain a professional demeanor and not react to the wounds she saw, but Clarke let a gasp slide when she saw the thigh that was littered with bomb shrapnel.

"That bad, huh?" the woman gave a strained chuckle.

"No, it's fine. You're going to be fine," Clarke insisted. "But like I said before, I don't have any equipment here with me."

"I know, but your other clinic is a five-minute drive away. I can wait here." Up to this point, Nightblood had purposefully kept her gaze on the ground, but now she raised her eyes to look directly into Clarke's, pleading. "Will you help me?"

"You need to go to a hospital, desperately. Even with all my tools I'm not fully equipped to save your life if there is shrapnel in your bloodstream right now."

"I'm not going to die here, damn it!" Lexa yelled in frustration. She took a deep breath and calmed her voice. "But I can't go to the hospital right now either. I can't compromise my identity. Please help me now and I swear to you I'll get to the hospital as soon as I can later."

Clarke thought it was a bit vain and stupid to risk her life for the sake of anonymity. "But if you'll just let me take you, I can-"

"No!" She paused and sighed. "I'm sorry; I don't mean to be brash. It's just that... You're driven to fix everything for everyone, but you can't fix this. All I need from you right now is a patch up, a quick fix."

Those green eyes were mesmerizing, but Clarke nodded and quickly snapped to action. "Yes, of course. I'll be back in ten minutes."

"'Thank you."

Clarke quickly burst out the front door, taking care to lock it behind her, and rushed to her new clinic.

"Doctor Griffin!" one of her assistants greeted her cheerfully the moment she stepped in. "I thought you were taking the day off. Has the old building been demolished already?"

"Yes, I am and no, it hasn't," she answered in a rush. "I just came to grab a few things and I'll be back tomorrow."

Her assistant just shrugged and resumed his work.

Clarke frantically grabbed what she could easily transport, desperately wishing she could take things like an x-ray machine, an IV, and blood for the transfusion Nightblood would surely be in dire need of. She jumped into her car and sped back to the old clinic, silently praying her patient wouldn't be passed out or worse. When she arrived, she ran to the back room with her medical bag in tow and was grateful to find the woman looking well, though her energy was waning.

"That must have been record speed, Doc," she said with a faint smile.

"Yeah, good thing the cops are busy elsewhere," Clarke chuckled, then gasped when she realized what she had said. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry. I promise I'm not an insensitive person."

"That doesn't matter, Clarke. Please just do whatever you have to do." Lexa mentally scolded herself. She had decided when she first got here that she wouldn't use Clarke's first name. She knew that name had a certain way of rolling off her tongue, something she just did automatically, and she hoped that alone wouldn't unveil what she was working so hard to conceal. Lexa noticed the slight hesitation in Clarke's movements when her name was spoken, but she quickly returned to the task at hand.

"I'm assuming you don't mind," Clarke tried to make eye contact as she spoke, "but I'm going to have to cut away your pants here so I can assess the wound."

"Yes, of course," Lexa replied, trying not to sound exasperated. "Like I said, whatever you have to do."

Clarke swiftly cut away at the fabric, revealing skin that was peppered with cuts and shrapnel.

"I have very little anesthesia to inject into your leg," Clarke commented apologetically as she reached for the syringe in her bag.

Lexa gritted her teeth. "Just do it."

Clarke tried a few times to make small talk as she spent the next fifteen minutes meticulously removing what she could of the debris. All Lexa wanted to do was keep her mouth clamped shut, both to keep from shouting in pain and to avoid saying anything that might give away who she was.

"So, you know my name..."

Lexa swore internally; she had hoped Clarke wouldn't bring that up.

"I know a lot of things about a lot of people in this city," Lexa responded flatly.

"Of course," Clarke said, a bit miffed that the other woman obviously didn't want to talk. _Even though I'm saving your life._

A minute later Clarke was wrapping up and she checked her wristwatch that had once belonged to her father. "The demo crew will be here in about five minutes, so this is going to have to be good enough for now. I've removed probably twenty of the largest pieces of shrapnel. I'm going to stitch up this inch here I had to cut into, and the rest you'll really need to get to a hospital to take care of." She looked into the other woman's eyes earnestly, trying to convey how serious she was. "Please take care of yourself. This city needs you."

Lexa could feel the blush rise to her cheeks and was grateful for all muck on her face that kept it hidden. No one had told her as Nightblood that the city needed her, and that was nice to hear. She quickly cleared her throat. "I already promised you I would. And thank you again, Doctor Griffin. I truly can't thank you enough."

Clarke's eyebrows furrowed as she finished binding the leg with bandages. "Where are you gonna go? Can I at least drive you somewhere? You surely aren't going out like that."

Lexa chuckled. "No, I'm not going to have you be my chauffeur. I'll be fine, really. Goodbye, Doc." She gave her one last look. "And may we meet again."

"Uh, yeah. May we meet again." _What an odd phrase,_ Clarke thought.

Lexa smirked in response and quickly left through the back door where she had first entered. Clarke was impressed with how agile she was after what had just happened. Clarke let out a long sigh and sat down for the last time in this building where she had spent so much of her life in the last few years. This moment of reprieve allowed her to reflect on what a truly singular experience she had just had. The mysterious masked hero of the city had come to her for help! Whatever she knew about Clarke was enough to have earned her trust, and Clarke was pretty pleased about that.

* * *

_*one week later*_

"Dude, this article's gonna be off the chain!" Jasper announced gleefully as he typed the last few words.

"Man, don't say something's 'off the chain.' C'mon, aren't you supposed to be the writer here?"

Jasper punched his best friend in the shoulder. "Whatever. You know my writing is much more eloquent than my speaking."

Monty laughed. "I'd rather have it that way, otherwise you'd be the most boring person to talk to."

Jasper gaped in feigned surprise. "Jerk! You saying I'm boring?"

"I wouldn't dream of it!"

"Sure... Now don't you have some pictures to take? Get down to the warehouse off of Monroe Boulevard and get in on the action before the other reporters show up."

"I'm amazed Detective Blake still tips us off on the hot stories." Monty commented thoughtfully. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm definitely grateful, but surprised. It's just been so long."

Jasper laughed. "Well, that's just one of the perks of saving a girl's life back in high school, am I right?"

Monty flashed a wily grin. "You're the man!"

"Indeed I am. Now hurry up and get me my exclusive shots!"

Jasper's desk phone started ringing and he quickly picked up the receiver. Monty stopped with his hand on the door and turned, waiting to hear if this would affect him as well, as Jasper's work calls often did. He worried for his friend when he immediately saw his face drop.

"No, it can't be... Are you sure? What else do you know? Uh huh... uh huh... yeah... okay, got it. Yeah, we'll be there. Thank you."

The suspense was driving Monty mad. "Well? What was that all about?"

Jasper's expression had turned dark. "Forget the warehouse. We need our best photographer somewhere else, and I'm going with you."

"What is it?" Monty's expression reflected the concern in Jasper's.

"A kidnapping, and the perp wants to publicly televise her ransom demands."

"Publicly? And the perp's a woman? Do we know if this is a terrorist act?"

Jasper shrugged as he grabbed his coat and keys and headed for the door. "Octavia doesn't know yet, but she's pretty sure this is our female serial killer."

"No way. But she hasn't wanted to publicly televise before."

"I know, so it looks like she's going for a new strategy this time. Something more far-reaching than just her typical, atrocious, in-home murders."

"So, do they know yet who the hostage is?"

Jasper nodded somberly. "Yeah. It's Costia."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, you guys. My Rizzoli & Isles fanfic writing days of years ago have come back in full force. (PS - I can't believe this is the last season!) But before you ask, no, I don't have the stories anymore. Yes, I was dumb and deleted them along with my old account because they were consuming my life. Apparently I can get a little extreme lol. Anyway, I almost always start a fic thinking it's going to be so much more lighthearted, but then I JUST CAN'T STOP. I don't know what it is. I started so many Rizzles fics that began as one-shot fluffs, then all of a sudden twelve chapters later I'd find myself in the middle of an intricate plotline of murder, red herrings, and betrayal and it was glorious. But I'm even more emotionally invested in these characters. So, I guess what I'm saying is... Buckle up.
> 
> *Also, I started writing this chapter several days ago and hope no one thinks me insensitive because of the bomb in my story and the tragedy that occurred in Belgium today. My heart and prayers go out to them.*
> 
> As usual, I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far. Thanks for reading!


	5. The Ultimatum

Lexa had never felt so lost before in her life.

She had returned home five minutes earlier to find the note explaining that the only person she loved in the world had been taken from her.

How could she have let this happen?

She had sworn to Costia that she would keep her safe.

Costia had only ever encouraged her to use her extraordinary talents to help others.

Lexa had never imagined that saving so many might cost the life of the one who mattered to her most.

She had just bought the ring.

The bombing last week had reminded her that life was all too short.

Was Costia afraid?

Was she in pain?

Did she still have hope that she could be saved?

Lexa hated herself for not having focused more on the serial killer.

She had suspected it was Nia.

She should have found her sooner.

Should have known the only purpose for those murders was to draw her attention.

A warning.

A threat.

They had all been killed the same way.

She had come for vengeance.

Because blood must have blood.

Lexa could recall with perfect clarity the night seven years ago that forever altered her life.

It was the only time she'd ever killed someone.

The first time she'd had to use her martial arts training in real life.

She had no idea he had been following her...

_He attacks from behind and forces her to the ground._

_She quickly gets her bearings and sweeps his feet out from under him._

_He laughs as they face off and he is twice her size._

_A downward kick breaks his right knee cap._

_As he starts to stumble, another swift kick to the sternum._

_The cracking of ribs echoes in her ears._

_She's about to run away._

_He grabs her leg with both hands from the ground._

_"Bitch," he calls her. "I will have you."_

_It's her only option, and she takes it._

_With her free leg she thrusts her foot into his neck with every ounce of force in her being._

_She feels it._

_The trachea is pulverized._

_She watches his struggling last breaths as his grip releases._

_Her tears fall unrestrained._

_His name was Roan._

* * *

Clarke was working that night and was so relieved to be taking her dinner break. She grabbed her phone out of her purse and was stunned to see seven missed calls and five texts. All within the last ten minutes. All from Raven.

"What the hell?" she muttered as she hit redial, not bothering to read or listen to any of the messages first.

"Finally, Griffin!"

"You know I'm working tonight!"

"So you haven't heard the news yet? You don't know what happened?"

Clarke could hear something in Raven's voice that she _never_ heard. Fear. Worry. Sadness.

"Ray, what's going on?"

"You have a TV at the clinic, right?"

"Yeah."

"Turn it on."

"Okay, what station?"

"Any station."

Clarke kept the phone to her ear as she grabbed the remote control and flipped on the television set in the break room.

_...we are all waiting to hear exactly what her demands are, and we expect her to make some kind of announcement in the next five minutes. Back to you, Gwen._

_Thank you, James. Now, for those of you just tuning in, James is our on-site reporter right now for Action News Six, and all video footage of the hostage situation will be broadcast live via camera drone operated by Monty Green of the Polis Sentinel. We are continuing our live coverage of the indescribable horror that is gripping the city of Polis tonight. A 26-year-old woman, Costia Fiyanes, was kidnapped from her home earlier today by 57-year-old Nia Haiplana, who claims to be responsible for the bank bombing one week ago that left sixteen dead and dozens more injured, as well as the previously unsolved murders of three women within the last year..._

"Costia?" Clarke whispered into the phone as she stared at the side-by-side photos of Costia and her kidnapper that now filled the TV screen.

"I know."

"How did this happen? Why her? Where is Lexa?"

"I don't know, Griff. I'm in class right now and my professor totally stopped her lecture to turn this on. This only hit the news like, fifteen minutes ago, and it's already viral. No one knows much of anything yet, except that it's definitely Costia and this madwoman says she's going announce whatever her ransom demands are at seven o'clock sharp. She's camped out on top of some old, abandoned building downtown with like, eight bodyguards in bulletproof vests and they're stocked with explosives and ammo."

"What the hell?"

"I know, right? This bitch is crazy. And she's got everyone's attention, just like she wants."

Clarke sighed. "Thanks for letting me know, Ray. I'm gonna see if I can call Lexa. I'm sure she knows and I doubt she'll answer, but I just need to make sure."

"Yeah, of course. I would have too if I'd had her number. Be quick. It's almost seven so shit's about to hit the fan. I'll text you."

"K, bye."

Clarke quickly dialed Lexa's number. Predictably, she didn't answer. Clarke almost left a voice message, but hung up at the last second, not knowing what in the world she could say that wouldn't sound absolutely asinine...

"Hey, sorry your girlfriend got kidnapped."

"Are you doing okay?"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"What are you going to do?"

Yeah... No. Clarke wondered if she should send a text or not, but realized there was nothing to say there either. So silence it was. Lexa would see she had a missed call from her, and that was enough.

Clarke's attention snapped back up to the TV when she saw the screen switch to Monty's drone camera. The six other people who were in the clinic had joined her by now and she turned up the volume. They were stunned; they'd all worked with Costia in the clinic at some point, and you couldn't help but love her.

Clarke glowered at the evil woman who now occupied the screen. She had an icy stare and a twisted smirk that made Clarke's stomach churn. Her heart broke at the sight of Costia gagged and tied to a chair. The wind was whipping around and she didn't even have a coat, her body shivering slightly from cold and fear.

"Hello, Polis."

From anywhere in the city you could hear a pin drop.

"I have with me here tonight one of your own." She placed a hand on Costia's shoulder and she shuddered at the touch.

"Truly, I have only orchestrated all this so that you could meet me," Nia continued. "No one has to die tonight."

Clarke clutched her chest and sighed in relief. Costia could live, then.

"But that all depends on the actions of one person - your rogue hero, Nightblood."

Clarke felt the fear rise within her again.

"So, _Nightblood,_ " her voice was dripping with disdain. "I am publicly offering you the chance to save this random citizen, only at the price of facing me yourself. Isn't that what you've wanted? The chance to discover who this mass murderer was so you could take her down? And like I said, no one has to die tonight. Come downtown and we will make arrangements from there. You have one hour. Otherwise," she said menacingly, holding a gun to Costia's head, "at eight o'clock the girl dies. I have nothing more to say until then." She smiled and nodded, indicating she was finished, and the feed cut back to James from Action News Six.

Clarke jumped when she felt an incoming text vibrate against her leg.

_Raven: Daaaaaamn. What do you think's gonna happen? Nightblood's gonna show, right?_

_Clarke: Idk. You can't believe that psychotic woman just wants to talk, though, do you?_

_Raven: She said no one has to die..._

_Clarke: You think a mass murderer isn't a liar too?_

_Raven: Good point_

_Clarke: She's put Nightblood in an awful situation by making it public. She's screwed either way._

_Raven: Yeah. Either everyone's gonna hate her if she doesn't save Costia, or she basically walks to her death_

_Clarke: Maybe there's more than just two options? Maybe she can figure out a way to just take out Nia?_

_Raven: Now who's the naive optimist? Lol. Did you see those hitmen flanking her? Pretty sure the icy bitch is prepared for every contingency_

_Clarke: Maybe. Who knows. So you going home?_

_Raven: Nah, I'd just go crazy waiting at home to see what happens. My professor is keeping the news on, so I'm just gonna stay and work on stuff here so I don't miss anything_

_Clarke: Yeah, I'll probably stay at the clinic and keep busy._

_Raven: Did you get ahold of Lexa?_

_Clarke: Nope. No response._

_Raven: I can't even imagine what she's going through. Do you think she's trying to do something about it? I have no idea what I'd do if I were her_

_Clarke: What can she do? Hopefully she's in touch with the police so she knows what leads they're working._

_Raven: Yeah. So why Costia? I mean seriously of all people_

_Clarke: Idk. She probably deserves death less than anyone in this city._

_Raven: Agreed_

_Clarke: Hey I'm gonna get to work so I can distract myself from this, but I'll keep my phone on me, so text me if you hear anything._

_Raven: Will do Griff_

* * *

Lexa was fully transformed into her alter ego, hatred and determination filling every fiber of her being. She was poised atop her apartment building, preparing to leave. Nia had just signed off her little broadcast, and Lexa had never before felt the desire to kill, but now it was coursing through her veins. Her "other phone" started ringing and she answered immediately.

"Detective Blake, I know where she is. I'm headed there now."

"Hold up, Night," Octavia said hesitantly.

"Why? What is it?"

"It's Nia. She called the precinct asking for me, somehow knowing I have a connection to you, and she wants to be patched through to you."

"She wants to talk to me? Hasn't she already said enough?"

"Apparently not," Octavia said in disgust. "I don't have to do it, though, if you don't want to talk to her."

"No, let her make her move. I need to hear whatever she has to say."

"Okay, I'll put her through. And I'll be listening in."

"Sounds good, Detective. I'm ready." Lexa's whole body tensed as she braced herself for whatever was about to happen.

There was a faint click on the line, and then she heard her voice.

"Hello, Nightblood."

"Nia." Lexa hoped the other woman could sense her loathing.

"Ah, I've waited so long to speak with you." Her words were smooth and calculating. "Hopefully sometime soon we can actually speak face-to-face."

"I've heard your demands." Lexa didn't hold back her hatred, but she tried to control her temper. She already knew her decision. "And I'll do it. Me for the girl. Tell me where to meet you."

Lexa heard a low, menacing chuckle in response. "I thought that might be your answer. And isn't it interesting how quick you are to surrender your own life for this girl? It's almost as if you have some kind of personal investment in her." Nia paused, and Lexa's nostrils flared as her anger seethed. Lexa didn't need further evidence to believe Nia knew her identity, but now it was certain and she wondered if Detective Blake listening in was connecting the dots for herself.

"Anyway," Nia continued. "I'm calling with a counter-offer that might change your mind."

"Never," Lexa stated flatly.

Nia tsked. "Never say never. Here's the deal: What I seem to have forgotten to mention in my public announcement was the fact that I have arranged for a rather spectacular demonstration of pyrotechnics that also happens to be scheduled for eight o'clock this evening."

"Where?" Lexa growled, fists clenched. A horrible premonition was gnawing inside her. This was another bombing.

"The one place I figure holds the most promise for this city's future. A place where knowledge supplants ignorance."

"The University of Polis," Lexa inferred.

"Very good! I figured you were a smart girl." Her voice couldn't be more patronizing. "And I believe that's your alma mater, is it not? You were part of the first graduating class? You must be quite proud of that legacy."

Lexa said nothing. There was another chink in her chain mail of anonymity.

"No matter," Nia continued when she received no response. "But before you start forming grand ideas of both disarming the bomb _and_ saving the girl, know that either can only be done by your hand. Come to face me while also sending a bomb squad to the University and I will execute both plans immediately. Gun in one hand, remote detonator in the other. You can only choose one. And if you choose to disarm the bomb, I'll even make it easy for you. It's a thermobaric bomb in the northeast corner of the basement in the Sinclair Engineering Building. Orange, blue, green. Clip the colored wires in that order. You have approximately forty-two minutes before your time is up."

There was another click and Detective Blake was back.

"Looks like you're the only one who can make this choice, Night."

"How many people are likely to be on campus this time of night?" Lexa asked.

Octavia thought for a moment. "I'm sure a few hundred." She sighed. "I've never seen anything like this in my life. What if we call a sniper to take out Nia?"

"Don't. I'm sure she'll know and we can't risk losing twice."

"So what's the plan?"

Lexa's head dropped in frustration and defeat. "I don't know."

Do you save hundreds of strangers or the one person who means the world to you?


	6. The Hand You're Dealt

Lexa didn’t bother trying to stop the tears anymore. They freely fell, further streaking the paint on her face. She had to keep dabbing them away so she could see where she was cutting and not blow herself up. Orange, blue, green. Nia's words had been echoing in her mind since the moment she hung up...

_It's almost as if you have some kind of personal investment in her._

_You must be quite proud of that legacy._

_Never say never._

_Gun in one hand, remote detonator in the other._

_Eight o'clock._

_Forty-two minutes._

_You can only choose one._

So Lexa had made her choice and knew it would haunt her for the rest of her days.

* * *

"It's 7:52. Nightblood's gonna show, right?" Jasper was practically bouncing in anticipation. "Dude, I'm so stoked to see this psychopath get her ass handed to her!"

Monty shot him a wary look. "I don't know, man. I don't have a good feeling about this. Nightblood hasn't come yet, and I don't think she's exactly looking to make a last-minute dramatic entrance. Besides, even if she does come, what makes you so sure she'll be the one walking away from all this unharmed?"

Jasper's expression deflated slightly as he shrugged. "I dunno. It's what she's always done before, right? I mean, obviously she hasn't been able to save every single person in every awful situation she's gone up against, or put every baddie behind bars, but you have to admit she has a pretty damn impressive track record."

Monty nodded. "I totally agree, but all of this -" he glanced up to the top of the building where Costia, Nia, and her gangsters undoubtedly were, though they were out of sight. "It's just really twisted, and this Nia creep seems to have things all figured out. She's pretty smug up there on her high horse. I think she's gonna get her way whether Nightblood shows up or not."

Jasper furrowed his eyebrows as he processed everything his friend said. "Maybe you're right. I just hope not." He glanced at his phone. "We're down to only six minutes now."

Monty sighed and started examining his drone again, making sure it was in perfect condition and ready for whatever it was about to broadcast.

* * *

_Raven: Dammit Clarke, where's Nightblood? Why isn't she saving Costia?_

_Clarke: Idk Ray, but it's not like this is an easy situation here._

_Raven: I know that, but still! This is Costia we're talking about!_

_Clarke: I know. :( But I feel like there's more going on here than Nia's letting on. Like, what if she's already captured Nightblood? Maybe she's holding her hostage too and setting up this whole situation to make the city hate her. Then if she actually lets her go, it will just be so that she has to face the fallout and losing people's trust._

_Raven: Damn. That would be messed up_

_Clarke: I know. I just don't think we can assume we have all the facts._

_Raven: Maybe you should have been detective Griffin instead of doctor ;)_

_Clarke: Ha! No thanks. I'll leave the sleuthing to Octavia. How's the homework coming?_

_Raven: You kidding? I haven't been able to focus on anything_

_Clarke: Same. Luckily we haven't had anyone come in._

_Raven: Probably because literally everyone in Polis is watching this. Even the homeless people can watch with all the screens in the city tuned in_

_Clarke: I can't stand this waiting._

_Raven: Well for better or worse we won't have to wait much longer. 3 minutes_

Clarke groaned as she confirmed the time. 7:57. She felt literally sick to her stomach. She didn't know if she could watch whatever was going to unfold, but she knew she didn't have the heart to do anything else. Costia had become a dear friend to her in the past few months. Her mind kept wandering back to Lexa. _What is she doing? How is she handling all this?_

* * *

Lexa's pulse was racing as she clipped the last wire and saw the digital timer on the bomb cut out with 2:38 left on the display.

"It's done, Detective!" she called into her earpiece. She heard a sigh of relief on the other end.

"Well done, Night."

"Now patch me through to her. Tell her I'll give myself up."

A slight pause, then Octavia replied softly, "I can't, Night. I've tried calling that same number, but it doesn't go through. I don't think Nia intended for us to call back - just to make a choice... And you did." All Octavia heard in response was a groan of frustration and despair before the connection ended.

Lexa's heart threatened to burst then and there, but she forced her body to keep going and quickly fled the basement of the engineering building. Costia had barely more than a minute to live. Lexa crashed through the front doors and tore over the path her feet used to tread daily not so long ago. She reached the main quad of her old campus, hoping the large screen the university used for broadcasts would be set up.

She remembered coming here in the spring to watch the baseball team's away games. One of her best friends, Gustus, was the starting catcher for the team, and she and Costia loved claiming a patch of grass in front of the screen and cheering him on when they couldn't make it to the games in person. Sometimes their friend Anya would join them, usually throwing out snarky comments and cursing louder than anyone if she thought the umpire made a bad call.

So many memories flashed through Lexa's mind in an instant as she sped toward her destination. Wonderful memories, and most of them with Costia.

Sure enough, the screen was set up and the drone's camera feed showed Nia and Costia front and center. Students spilling out of nearby buildings swarmed the lawn and gasped and pointed when they noticed Nightblood in their midst. They looked shocked, excited, confused, sorrowful. No one said a word but all eyes questioned the same thing: _Why are you here?_ Everyone made way for Lexa as she settled to a stop not far from the front. There was no time for talk, though, as everyone's attention was immediately pulled back to the screen.

A slight smirk tugged at Nia's stony expression. "Well, well, well." Silence swept over the city. "It's eight o'clock, and since you see the girl is still with me, you know by now that your beloved _hero_ never came. And to think that a true hero would be self-sacrificing... But no matter."

Lexa clenched her fists and grit her teeth.

Nia pulled the gag out of Costia's mouth. The girl gasped in deep gulps of air and Lexa could see she was trying so hard to be brave. Lexa's already broken heart was being shred to pieces. Everything around her fell away as she gazed into Costia's eyes. She was eleven miles away from her, and Nia had already made it clear that Lexa could only choose one. She was witnessing the last moments of the woman she loved.

Many murmurs throughout the city remarked on the resolve of the young hostage. You would expect her to be sobbing and begging for mercy. But Costia knew what was happening. She heard Nia talking to her girlfriend about the bomb. Hearing the addendum to Nia's ultimatum had devastated her; no matter what happened, life would be lost, and the weight of the decision rested on Lexa's shoulders. Costia had cried when she heard that. In her mind she willed Lexa to choose the University. Disarm the bomb, save the people. She was only one life, they were hundreds. But death was the last thing Costia wanted for herself. She would have chosen torture over death if it meant she would be with Lexa when this ended. Sure, life wasn't perfect, but Costia filled her days with joy, and other people's as well, and she had everything to live for. More than herself, Costia was distraught for Lexa. She knew her perfectly - knew the struggle she would go through in making her choice, and the greater struggle she would endure afterward. Lexa would be desperate to save her. Costia couldn't imagine what life would be like without Lexa, and her heart ached knowing this was the reality that faced her lover. But no matter how great their love was, the Lexa she knew ultimately would realize that the right choice would be to save the dozens, maybe even hundreds of lives over the one. Even the one who meant more to her than any other.

Nia's cruel smirk grew as she addressed Costia. "Any last words for the camera, dear? Anything you'd like to say to Nightblood or _other_ loved ones?"

Lexa winced at the not-so-subtle allusion that Nightblood was a loved one.

Costia looked down for a moment, deep in thought, then raised her head high and gazed directly into the camera. A sad smile was bravely shown. She knew Lexa was out there somewhere watching this. Lexa was the only family she had, so she spoke to her.

"We don't always choose the hand we're dealt, right?" she said with a faint laugh, one solitary tear following the well-worn path down her cheek. That phrase had become an inside joke for her and Lexa, one that they tossed back and forth between each other all the time. Now the tears started pouring from Lexa. She let out a half-laugh at the shared joke and out of sheer shock that Costia could be so composed right now. Lexa struggled to breathe normally; her lungs felt like they were being crushed by a vise. She was in severe denial - hoping, praying that a miracle would happen.

Costia's expression grew more intent, but still kind. "Sometimes we must concede a battle to win a war. You taught me that. Each of those lives you saved means the world to someone else. And in the big picture, it's far better for one life to be lost than many." Costia smiled, and though it was tinged with pain, it was sweet and sincere and her trademark expression. Lexa had always called it her cinnamon roll smile, because it reminded her that her girlfriend was too good, too pure for this world. This just caused Lexa to gasp even harder for breath. It had been a joke then. It was all too true now.

Costia held up her left hand in what perhaps looked like a sign of parting, but Lexa knew it well and held up her right hand to mirror it. It's what they always did over FaceTime when they had to be apart, like when Lexa was away for business. They would hold up their hands to the screen and smile, letting that one gesture convey the love and longing they felt for the other. If Lexa was devastated before, she was absolutely shattered now.

Lexa let the tears fall freely as she fought every instinct that told her to look away. The collective mouths of everyone in Polis dropped, including Nia's, at what Costia said. Nia did not expect such strength and grace from her hostage. This situation was supposed inject fear into the people of Polis, not inspiration.

Nia quickly resumed control in her cold fury and shouted, "Where is your hero now, Polis?"

A scream rent from Lexa's lungs as she ignored her overwhelming desire to run to Nia and rip her throat out, but she was miles away and Lexa couldn't bear to look away from the screen and miss a single one of Costia's last living seconds. She didn't care that everyone in the quad now knew she was there, switching their sad gazes from the horrific scene on the broadcast to her defeated form as she dropped to her knees - hopeless, helpless.

Nia spoke again, "It looks like Nightblood has made the coward's choice and remains in the shadows. So be it." At this she whipped out her gun again and held it to Costia's had. The camera's visual feed was mercifully cut, but the audio was still there as the sound of the bullet striking its target echoed throughout the city.

Lexa was vaguely aware of the stunned gasps and screams around her, but everything moved in painfully slow motion. She heard nothing but the pounding of her own blood as a reminder that Costia would never feel hers again. The camera's visual feed picked back up to show Nia's blood-splattered sneer.

"Now for the last order of business. You will not hear from me again for six months, but at the end of that time I will return with one last ultimatum. One last price for this city to pay. Try to find me if you must, but you will not succeed. Farewell."

* * *

_Raven: Oh my god_

_Clarke: I can't believe it. She's gone._

_Raven: I would tear that bitch apart limb from limb if I could_

_Clarke: How could this have happened? God, I can't stop crying._

_Clarke: Ray?_

_Clarke: Where'd you go?_

_Raven: Hey sorry. I just left the building and everyone was flipping out and saying that Nightblood was here when it happened! Like she was out in the quad watching the big screen with everyone here and they said she was sobbing. A total wreck_

_Clarke: What? Why was she there?_

_Raven: That's what everyone's wondering. Why was she on the other side of the city? Doesn't make any sense. This is all completely mad_

_Clarke: There's definitely more going on here than we know. There's no way Nightblood wouldn't have known what was going on._

_Raven: I'm sure you're right. Damn. You probably haven't heard anything from Lexa have you?_

_Clarke: No, nothing. I doubt we will for a while. I feel so bad for Nightblood, but my heart is completely broken for Lexa._

A strange thought occurred to Clarke as she hit send. The juxtaposition of those two people in her mind suddenly caused her to wonder if both those feelings need only be directed toward one person after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that was so heavy, guys. This was a hard one to write. I hadn't expected to love Costia so much when I started this fic, but she just evolved into someone wonderful which made this even more painful. The road for Lexa certainly won't be easy after this, and she has to grieve, but I promise happier times are ahead. I'd love to hear your thoughts so far. Thanks! xoxo


	7. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer and slower than the others, but it just felt like this was what the story needed as a contrast to the fast pace and intensity of the last couple chapters. It's focused on Lexa and how she's trying to process everything on her slow path to recovery, and hopefully it feels like a fitting transition to the next part of the story. I'd love to hear what you think. Also, Costia and Nia's last names are mentioned in this chapter again, and yes, they are Trigedasleng. Has anyone figured out what they mean? Enjoy! :)

"You wanna go down to city hall, Clarke? Or just watch the press release on TV?"

"I kinda wanna go."

"Great!" Raven clapped and looked at her roommate expectantly.

"Right," Clarke laughed. "That's my cue."

"Unless you want to ride seven miles on the back of my bike..."

"Ooh, as tempting as that sounds, I think I'll go find my keys."

"No need," Raven smirked as she dangled the keyring on her fingers.

Clarke arched an eyebrow. "So presumptuous."

"So right," Raven quipped.

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Let's go, dumbass." Her mood quickly sobered. "So, what do you think Octavia is going to announce?"

Raven shrugged as she opened the front door. "Dunno. Obviously something about last night. Ugh. I keep trying to push it all out of my mind, but even I can only find so much to joke about today."

Clarke's face fell as she rounded the car to the driver's side. "I know. It's still so surreal." Clarke sighed as she dropped into her seat. Most of her thoughts had been turned toward Lexa since last night. She still hadn't heard anything from or about her, and she could only hope someone was comforting her as she grieved.

* * *

Octavia checked her watch. 1:59. It was time. She stepped up to the podium amidst a flurry of flashes coming from the press. She kept her expression neutral, hiding her extreme agitation, which was something she had perfected after many years of practice. Why people felt the need to take so many damn pictures was beyond her. The frame-by-frame from every angle of her walking across the stage could hardly be what people cared about. But there were far more important issues at hand, so she refocused and cleared her throat when she reached the microphone. The room fell silent and all eyes turned to Polis Police Department's head detective. Octavia took a deep breath before she began. She may be brilliant at her job, but addressing the public was her least favorite aspect of it. She hated seeming cynical, but sometimes people were just idiots, and here she couldn't get up in someone's face like she could when she was interrogating a perp. She had to be professional.

"Good afternoon," she began coolly. "I'm here to briefly address the tragic incident we all witnessed last night, the murder of Costia Fiyanes, and some facts the public wasn't privy to that I feel you should know."

Murmurs rippled throughout the room as people wasted no time in speculating what she might announce. _Curiosity is a human trait that can never be fully sated,_ Octavia thought. That fact was also what made her a great detective.

"Last night the culprit, Nia Haiplana, placed the PPD as well as Nightblood in a very delicate situation."

"Where the hell was Nightblood?" A furious man called from the crowd, and similar cries rose up around him.

"You will save your questions for the end," Octavia stated, rather than asked. Her commanding tone achieved the desired effect, so she continued. "You are aware of two choices Nia presented Nightblood: Save the girl and face Nia, or don't. In truth, it wasn't that simple. I'm sure many of you have already seen the videos circulating the internet of Nightblood at the University of Polis last night, and she had good reason. Off camera Nia made contact with Nightblood through me and said she had planted a thermobaric bomb at the University in the basement of the Sinclair Engineering Building that was set to detonate at 8 PM, precisely the same time the execution was scheduled. Nia informed us that only one or the other could be saved, that it could only be done by Nightblood's hand, and that if we tried prevent both, Nia would have set both plans in motion immediately."

Stunned gasps echoed throughout the room. Clarke groaned when Raven death-gripped her arm. "That's exactly where I was, Clarke," Raven whispered as her face completely blanched. Clarke placed a reassuring hand on top of her friend's, but knew there was shock and concern etched in her own features as well.

"Now you see our dilemma," Octavia commented dryly, feeling only slightly guilty that she enjoyed the fact that the man who dissed Nightblood a moment before had turned a fabulous shade of maroon. _Or is it more burgundy?_ Octavia gave a slight shake of her head to refocus. She had lately been repainting her apartment and spent most of her free time staring at paint swatches and becoming very familiar with the various nuances of every color.

Octavia continued, "Before Nia could utter more than a few words, Nightblood had already offered herself in exchange for the girl. However, Nia presented this alternate ultimatum. Nightblood's first option was to publicly save the one girl and have the chance of facing Nia, who also claimed responsibility for last week's bank bombing that killed sixteen of our people, as well as three unsolved murders of young women within the last year. The other option was to disarm the bomb at the University, sparing the lives and injury of dozens, if not more. This decision was gut-wrenching, and ultimately was one only Nightblood could make. As I'm sure you've inferred by now, she chose to disarm the bomb and save the University in secret, while she was publicly called a coward. Our investigation of both scenes is still ongoing as we try to uncover anything that will help us bring the culprit to justice." Octavia sighed. It felt good to now have all the facts presented and Nightblood's good name restored, but she didn't look forward to what came next. "I will now be taking questions from the press..."

* * *

_*Two days later*_

_Something bad could happen to one of us,_ she remembered Costia saying once.

_But no matter what, we have to keep going._

The choice to be Nightblood had been so much easier then. Before everything had gone so, so wrong. Lexa absentmindedly tipped the bottle back to her lips and swore when she realized she had already drained it. She groaned and leaned her head back on the couch. She wasn't completely sure why she was sitting on the floor in front of the couch instead of actually on it, but her mind wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders right now and she really couldn't care less. At least the floor was carpeted. All Lexa could do was drink and hope it would bring her the reprieve from consciousness and reality she so desperately craved. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Costia gagged or Nia grinning and heard the gunshot she wished had been aimed at her instead.

There was a knock at the door and Lexa whimpered when the sound reverberated in her head like a pinball game. She stayed quiet and hoped whoever it was would go away. Already her landlord had come by as well as the couple from the apartment across the hall, who were very kind and had invited her and Costia over for dinner when they had first moved in. Other people may have come knocking when Lexa was in too deep of a drunken stupor to notice, but it didn't matter because she hadn't opened the door for any of them.

The knock came again, louder this time, and Lexa wanted to throttle whoever was on the other side of that door.

"Lexa," called the low voice of her cousin. "I know you're in there. Please let me in."

Lexa squinted at the digital clock across the room. 10:46 - but was it AM or PM? Lexa realized she didn't even know what day it was.

The knocking came a third time and his voice sounded more concerned. "If you don't answer this door, I'm gonna have to assume there's something wrong and I'll break it down myself."

"Go away, Lincoln," she slurred. "I'm fine."

"I highly doubt that. You've been holed up for _three days_ , Lexa. No one has seen you or heard from you. People are worried."

"Yeah, well people should just mind their own damn business," she retorted. _Three days? Has it really been that long?_

Lincoln wanted to say that this kind of had become everyone's business, but it obviously wasn't personal for anyone like it was for his cousin/boss. "I just brought you some food," he called through the door. "I would leave it here in the hall, but it's chicken curry from that amazing Thai place downtown, so I'm pretty sure someone would steal it the second I left. You wouldn't stand a chance." He paused, waiting for any response. He sighed. "At least let me bring it in. If you don't want to eat or talk, I'll just stick it in the fridge and be gone."

"Fine. Give me a minute." Lexa grimaced as she tried to push herself off the ground. Every part of her body was stiff and sore. She tenderly touched her thigh where shrapnel had been removed only just a week ago and winced at the pain. Finally upright, she stood still for a moment to get her bearings and stop the room from spinning. She kept one hand on the wall for support as she approached the door. She swung it open and Lincoln cautiously stepped in. He tried not to react to Lexa's ragged appearance; before now he had never seen her less than pristine and professional.

He stood there awkwardly in the entrance for a moment. "So, how are you?"

 _What a loaded question,_ Lexa thought as she just stared at him.

"Right," he continued hesitantly. "Shall I just put this in the fridge, then?"

Lexa nodded. "Yes, please."

Lincoln made a beeline for the kitchen and she sighed. "I'm sorry, Lincoln," she called from the other room. "I really do appreciate you making sure I'm still alive and bringing me food."

"You're welcome. Have you checked your phone at all? I think there are a lot of other people who would also like to know you're alive."

She shook her head even though he was still in the kitchen. "No. I really don't want to talk to anyone about..." Lexa couldn't even form a coherent end to that sentence.

She heard the fridge door close and Lincoln rounded the corner with a sad smile. "I know, and I get it. How about I just let people know I've seen you and that you're okay?"

She forced a laugh. "And by 'okay' you mean that I haven't showered or had a proper meal for days? That I have bottles of various alcoholic beverages strewn across my apartment and overall just don't give a shit about anything right now?"

"Yeah, something like that," he answered with a wink.

Lexa gave a faint, but genuine smile in return. Lincoln really was a great guy, and she was lucky to have him around. This made him a little more brave, so he decided to venture into potentially taboo territory. "Did you watch Detective Blake's press statement from a couple days ago?"

Lexa stiffened. "No."

Lincoln swallowed, wondering if this was the wrong move, but he thought she needed to hear it. "There was apparently more going on that night than we were aware of. Haiplana had a bomb at the University that was set to go off at the same time and she forced Nightblood to choose which one to save. I had thought she was a coward for not showing up, but turns out she saved a ton of kids that night."

Lexa maintained a stoic expression and Lincoln shrugged. "I don't know. Just something to think about," he offered as he turned to leave.

"Hey," she called after him as he opened the door. He turned back. "Thanks again," she said with a faint smile. "I'll call you soon, kay? About work and everything. I'm sure there's a nightmarish mound of paperwork awaiting my return."

"No, no, no," he said, wagging a finger at her. "Don't you even think about work right now. Your fantastic assistant here is even more capable than you think at getting things taken care of."

Lexa's expression softened. "I know you are. But I have to go back soon. I'm not ready just yet, but I also can't be here forever."

Lincoln nodded in understanding. "No one's expecting you to be back sooner than you're ready, and no important planning decisions need to be made until then. And you can call me whenever, you know. Even if it's not about work."

Lexa gave an appreciative smile. "I know. And thank you."

He grinned. "Anytime, cousin. I'll see you around."

Lexa waved after him as he left and shut the door. She suddenly realized how ravenous she was and quickly headed for the fridge, hoping the food he brought hadn't cooled too much.

* * *

Those first few days of Lexa's self-confinement consisted of drunken stupors, practically no sleep, and even less human contact. Her interaction with Lincoln was literally the the only conversation she had. She avoided her phone, radio, and TV - she didn't want the outside world encroaching on her solitude.

The next couple of days brought more sleep, but with that came more nightmares. She would startle awake, drenched in sweat and tears. She finally started to walk around the apartment, heat up her food, look out the window, and actually shower every so often. Every part of their home reminded her of Costia. They had only started living together eight months ago, but she was haunted by the memories that had once been so sweet.

After six days she decided to check her phone again. She had had no contact with the world and realized she needed to know if any important developments had come about since that night. Just seeing the numbers made her anxious: 37 missed calls, 12 voicemails, and 53 texts. That was way too overwhelming for her right now, and she was about to throw the phone back into her bag when she noticed that apart from Lincoln, she had received more texts from Clarke Griffin than anyone else - 11 to be exact. She arched an eyebrow and swiped the screen to open the texts, her curiosity getting the better of her.

She couldn't help the smile that crept over her face as she read the messages. The early ones were sporadic for the first couple days, mostly just saying that Clarke was there if she needed anything. The more recent messages were very sweet and exactly the kind of distraction Lexa needed.

_Clarke: I just left the donut shop (my second home), and they said they're bringing back those apple cinnamon fritters - your favorites! I think they said they'll have them in two weeks. Yassss_

_Clarke: I'm finally reading that 'Humans of New York' book you loaned me and you're right - it's literary crack. Like, I started from the beginning and I'm literally reading every entry. The crazy people make me laugh so hard and I'm pretty sure they'd be my BFFs._

_Clarke: Ok, totally just saw your cousin having drinks with Detective Blake tonight. Pretty sure it was a first date. They were a little awkward, but adorable. If he hasn't told you about this development, you better ask him for details._

_Clarke: BTW I hope I'm not bothering you. I always just text people when I think about them. You don't have to feel obliged to respond at all._

_Clarke: I heard the announcement that a theater is getting built downtown, and that it was your idea! Are you kidding me? I'm requesting plays, musicals, ballets, and even the occasional opera. I'm pretty cultured, you know. ;)_

Lexa chuckled after reading the messages. The enraged, brooding Dr. Griffin she first met had somehow become this ray-of-sunshine friend over the last few months. But that light was a little too blinding for the darkness she was in right now. Lexa didn't know what to say so she didn't respond, but she was truly grateful for the smile her words evoked. And Lexa noted she could probably eat a whole dozen of those fritters by herself right now.

And speaking of Detective Blake, Lexa was surprised to see voicemail messages from her on both phones. She listened to the one on her personal cell first and discovered the medical examiner's office would be keeping Costia's body longer than anticipated - likely another week - because ballistics reports found something that required further investigation and they couldn't release the body until the police had closed up things on their end. Lexa's head dropped to her hands. This meant the funeral couldn't be held at the end of this week. The upside was that Lexa didn't have to finish planning it and actually face the public yet, but she desperately needed the small bit of closure a funeral would bring.

Lexa switched over to her "other" phone, which only had missed calls and messages from Detective Blake - the only person who had that number. A voicemail there elaborated on more of the details of the pending investigation. Ballistics had discovered an anomaly in the entrance and exit wounds from the bullet, which could provide helpful information about the type of bullet and gun that Nia used. Unfortunately the bullet was not in the body to be further analyzed, and the CSI team was unable to find it on the warehouse rooftop, but they hoped the reports they were waiting on could give them more information about Nia that would help the investigation. Lexa cringed as she listened to the more formal, cold, scientific language the Detective used when she didn't think she was speaking with the lover of the deceased. Costia was now "the body" and Lexa heard more details than she cared to know.

Lexa felt so utterly alone. She knew she would eventually be able to resume her duties as city planner, but would she ever be able to go back to being Nightblood? She had failed the one person she cared about more than any other - the only person who knew she was both Lexa and Nightblood, and now Lexa was the reason her love and confidante was forever gone.

* * *

 At the beginning of week two, Lexa finally opened her front door again. All she did was go to the local market because she had officially run out of fresh food, but as soon as she started seeing people again, she regretted the decision. Not too many people recognized her since her face wasn't as well-known as her name, and even fewer knew that she and Costia were together, but she was only a few blocks from home and those who did know stared and looked sorry for her. Lexa hated being on the receiving end of pity. Many of the market employees knew her because she and Costia would come together once a week. She shopped quickly so she could retreat back to the solitude of her home. Lexa kept her head down as she approached the register and pulled out her wallet as the cashier started scanning her items.

"No, dear. You don't have to worry about that."

Lexa's eyebrows furrowed as she glanced up to meet the kind eyes of an older female employee who often was on shift when she came. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," the woman reassured with a chuckle. "The manager insists we cover these for you today." She tilted her head toward the right and Lexa's eyes followed. There was the middle-aged manager assisting another shopper, and when Lexa glanced over, their eyes met. He gave a sad, but kind smile and small wave. Lexa waved back and mouthed her thanks.

She turned back to the cashier. "Thank you, Marcy."

"It's no problem at all, dear. Jeremy also says that if you want, you can call in your orders and we will be happy to deliver groceries to your home for as long as you like."

Lexa was overwhelmed by this thoughtful gesture that would allow her more privacy, and quickly placed the bags in her cart when tears threatened to surface. "Thank you," she repeated, her voice cracking.

* * *

At the end of that second week was the funeral, and it all felt so surreal - a nightmare Lexa wished she could wake up from. She forced herself to shower and look presentable. Costia didn't have any family, and all Lexa wanted was a simple graveside service for herself, but she knew she couldn't be that selfish. So many people had come to love Costia since they had lived here, and many more had become invested in her life and death since that awful night; Lexa knew they would want to pay tribute to the woman she loved as well.

The whole day was a blur. Lexa spoke briefly at the service and several others did as well. She remembered the church being full past capacity and far past fire code standards, but since she noticed the Polis Fire Chief in attendance as well, she figured he didn't mind. Lincoln sat with her and didn't say much, but was the quiet comfort she needed. Detective Blake approached her after the service to extend her condolences in person, and assured her the PPD was doing everything possible in their investigation. Clarke and Raven had been there too; they were also sitting on the front row, but on the opposite side of the large chapel. Lexa didn't approach them and they didn't come to her either. She made eye contact with them at one point and they both smiled and waved, which somehow made her happy and yet ache even more. Lexa cringed when she realized Clarke probably didn't seek her out since she still hadn't ever responded to her texts, and likely thought she just needed more time, which wasn't entirely off-base. But it wasn't just Clarke - she hadn't communicated with anyone, but Clarke was the only one who had actually made her smile. All the other messages were kind, but they were thick with sadness and pity; Clarke still treated her like a normal person. She knew she really should say something to her, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Lexa realized she was almost afraid the dynamic duo of Clarke and Raven would somehow manage to make her laugh, and that was the last thing she wanted to do today. Yes, Costia was full of joy and laughter, and a couple people who had spoken at the service even elicited a few appreciative laughs from the crowd, but Lexa couldn't bear too much lightheartedness today. It just wouldn't feel right.

* * *

Lexa waited one more week before returning to work and some semblance of a "normal" life and routine. It had now been just slightly more than three weeks since Costia was taken from her, and though she wasn't any less devastated, Lexa just tried to find more things to be happy about as time went on. She inherently really was a positive person - perhaps not as much as Costia had been - but Lexa knew healing couldn't come if she stayed drunk and sobbing alone in her apartment forever. So she was going to take this normal life thing one day at a time and not push herself too much. She was in survival mode right now and tried to avoid any triggers that would send her spiraling back to that dark place of a few weeks ago.

* * *

"Stop pacing, Griffin. Just looking at you makes me anxious."

"Then don't look at me, Ray."

"Well, I'm trying to study, but you're too damn distracting."

"Fine," the blonde huffed as she dropped onto the couch.

"What's got you so worked up, anyway? Seeing a tough patient today?"

Clarke chuckled. "Something like that. I wanna go see Lexa."

Raven sat up straighter in her chair. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"No," Clarke admitted. "But I just want to make sure she's okay."

"She hasn't responded to your texts. And how many have you sent in the last few weeks?"

"I know she hasn't, but she's just barely returning to work, so she's obviously needed some space from everything."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "How do you know she's returning to work? Stalker much?"

Clarke laughed and threw a pillow at her face, which Raven deftly knocked aside. "No, I'm not stalking her, idiot. I ran into her cousin at the gas station yesterday - the guy that was with her at the funeral - and he mentioned it."

"Oh, so you're stalking him now too," Raven smirked. "He's cute."

"Maybe, but you were totally with me when we saw him getting drinks with Octavia that night. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah!" Raven laughed. "Dude, we _need_ to get that story."

Clarke gasped. "We should totally ask Jasper."

"Yes! He would know better than anyone if there was a story there," Raven agreed. "Especially since it involves his high school crush."

The girls burst into a fit of laughter and Clarke had to attempt several deep breaths before speaking again. "God, that was so long ago!" She paused thoughtfully for a moment. "Hey, do you remember Lexa at all from high school?"

Raven shook her head. "Nah, not really. Just that she was a gorgeous, star senior track runner when we were awkward freshmen."

Clarke giggled. "That pretty much covers it. We were _so_ awkward."

"Painfully awkward. But at least we weren't as bad as Jasper and Monty."

"So true! They were the nerdiest kids in our class. But look at us now all these years later. I'd say we've all done pretty well for ourselves."

"Agreed. And speaking of awkward, what exactly do you plan to say when you see Lexa?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "I'm just going to ignore whatever you're inferring there."

"Fine," Raven laughed. "But really, if you actually do see Lexa, what is it you're going to say to her?"

Clarke shrugged. "I don't know exactly. I just feel like I need to see her. I want her to know she isn't alone."

Raven sighed. "Well, I don't know what you think you'll be able to do that other people closer to her haven't already tried, but there's really no stopping you once you've got an idea in mind. So get out of here. Go track down our city planner."

Clarke smiled as she got up and grabbed her purse. "I think I shall. See you tonight, Ray."

"Later, Griff. And feel free to bring back some pizza on your way home!"

Clarke laughed as she headed out the door. "Only if you're lucky!"

* * *

Clarke stood at the base of the skyscraper and leaned her head way back to see the top office that was her destination. As she rode the elevator up she realized she really had no idea what she planned to say to Lexa when she saw her. She was just drawn there and felt this nagging need to know she was okay - more than she dared let on to her roommate. Clarke also realized people were probably expected to set up appointments with the busy city planner, who could only be even more swamped in work than usual in her first few days back. Clarke didn't even necessarily know if she was in the office right now.

The higher she went the more potential problems Clarke saw in her plan. But before she knew it, she heard a _ding_ and the elevator doors opened to the hallway outside Lexa's office. She approached the main desk and was grateful to see Lincoln there discussing some paperwork with the young secretary. The last time she had seen the secretary, Clarke was storming out of Lexa's office, absolutely furious after hearing her beloved clinic was going to be demolished and there was nothing she could do about it. Clarke cleared her throat as she approached and both Lincoln and the secretary glanced up to see her.

"Ah, Ms. Griffin," Lincoln greeted with a smile. "Long time no see. What can we do for you?"

Clarke tried not to look as uncomfortable as she felt. "Well, I know I don't have an appointment, but I was wondering if I could speak with Lexa."

"Ms. Woods is not seeing anyone this week-" the secretary started to explain, but Lincoln cut her off.

"But why don't I go see what she's working on right now? She might be grateful for a change of pace."

The secretary pursed her lips and nodded curtly. It was obvious she was not used to being cut off, nor to having her direct instructions from the city planner overruled by the assistant. An incredibly awkward silence rested between them once Lincoln left, and Clarke decided she would probably only do more harm than good by trying to break it, so she settled into a slightly uncomfortable armchair and waited.

It took Lincoln about two minutes to return, but he was smiling when he did. "Okay, Clarke, Lexa will see you now."

Clarke grinned and left the lobby, avoiding any eye contact with the testy brunette behind the desk.

"It's kind of you to come, Clarke," Lincoln said with a sidelong smile as he led her down the hall. "I'm sure Lexa will be happy to see a friendly face. She is incredibly busy though, and she may be too polite to ask you to leave, so as her assistant I would ask that you don't stay too long."

From anyone else that could have sounded rude, but Lincoln was too genuinely nice to sound otherwise. "'Too polite' is probably the last term I would have used to describe Lexa the only other time I was here," Clarke said with a smirk.

Lincoln laughed. "Right? Well, she's softened a bit in the last few months, but don't you dare tell her I said that. There was a time when I swear I wouldn't have been surprised at all if she had just up and kicked someone out the window for disagreeing with her."

Clarke started to giggle, but immediately sobered up when they reached the door to Lexa's office, and suddenly her insides were churning. She had no reason to be so nervous, but that was undoubtedly how she felt. Lincoln opened the door for her and smiled as she passed him. When Clarke first walked in it took her a second to find Lexa. She had her back to her, bent over a table of blueprints she was studying. As the door closed Lexa turned to face her guest.

"Hello, Clarke."


	8. Not Alone

"Hello, Clarke."

Clarke's breath hitched. Lexa seemed like a whole different person up here in her vast office at the top of a tall tower. So calm, authoritative, and just a bit intimidating even though the two women were on much different terms than the last time they were in this room together.

Lexa spoke again, "I have to say I'm a bit disappointed, Clarke."

Clarke's face fell. "Wait, why?"

Lexa pinched her lips together to hold back her grin. "Well, I would have thought that if you were to come all this way to visit me, you would have at least brought some of those apple cinnamon fritters."

Clarke let out a surprised laugh, and just like that, the tension in the room dissipated. Clarke was also happy to note that it seemed Lexa had read all those texts after all. Maybe she only noticed the ones involving donuts, but something was better than nothing.

"Ha! Well, that's only because they won't be back in stock until Monday, but I can promise you will have some next week."

Lexa laughed. "Excellent. I'll hold you to it!"

As their laughter subsided some of the unease drifted back into the room. Clarke realized a beat too late that Lexa was obviously waiting for her to announce why she was there.

"So, what can I do for you, Clarke? I take it you didn't come just to discuss donuts. It is, of course, good to see you, though," she quickly added, realizing her previous comment may have sounded a bit too cool and distant.

"Uh, no, I didn't," Clarke replied, mentally kicked herself for sounding so lame. She laughed nervously. "I actually don't even know for sure why I came." She met Lexa's gaze again and saw a tinge of sadness in her eyes.

Clarke took a deep breath. "Okay, no. You know what? We're going to try this again." Lexa arched a questioning eyebrow in response. "None of this ever happened. I'll be right back."

Lexa leaned back against her desk and folded her arms as she watched the blonde walk out the door. She tried not to laugh when she saw her spin around and come right back in. Lexa quickly caught on to what Clarke was doing and delivered her opening line again.

"Hello, Clarke."

"Lexa!" she called in response, a bit braver now that she knew her friend was in a playful mood. Lexa laughed as the blonde approached and was surprised when she threw her arms around her neck, pinning her against the desk. Clarke felt Lexa stiffen in her embrace and started to pull back, afraid she had swung too far the other direction.

"Wait," Lexa urged softly as she corrected herself and wrapped her arms around Clarke's torso to bring her back. Clarke was pleasantly surprised at her response and they stood there quietly for a moment together. Lexa spoke again, still holding her close. "Don't you know that as the shorter person you should go for the waist, and I get the neck? Because now I have to slouch and you have to go on tiptoe."

Clarke giggled into her thick hair. "I'm hardly that much shorter, and who says you get to make up the rules of hugging?"

They both pulled back and Lexa shrugged with a smile. "I do. Plus, my turf - my rules."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll give you that." She let out a content sigh. "Well, this is why I came. I've missed you."

Lexa was surprised again at the sudden show of emotion. "I'm sorry I never answered your texts."

"I mean, sure it would have been nice," Clarke said with a teasing smile, "but I told you you didn't have to."

"I was grateful for them. I read every one."

"I'm glad." Clarke searched Lexa's face, trying to see what emotions were brewing beneath the surface. "But I admit I didn't just come to say hi. How are you holding up, Lexa?"

Lexa glanced to the side. "Not all that well."

Clarke looked to her, waiting for her to elaborate.

Lexa sighed. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about this, Clarke. That's why I never answered your or anyone's messages."

"I don't want you to feel alone like this, Lexa. I want to help you."

Lexa shook her head. "No, Clarke. I have to do this on my own, and you have to let me."

"But you _don't_ have to do it alone," she insisted.

"What would you know about this, Clarke?" Lexa scoffed as her voice rose. "You can't just walk in here and tell me how I should be grieving. You may be my friend, Clarke, but that is _not_ your place."

That hurt, but Clarke was too stubborn to back down. "You're right. Maybe I can't tell you how to grieve, but you can't assume I have no idea what you're going through. I was in the fire that killed my dad and a few years later was woken up in the middle of the night to hear that my mom had died in a car crash, so _you_ don't get to tell me I don't know what it's like to have someone I love ripped out of my life too soon and without warning."

Both women looked like they were on the verge of tears. Clarke sighed, using all her willpower to temper these sudden emotions. "I'm sorry, Lexa. I didn't mean for all this to come out."

"I'm sorry too."

"I think I should go now."

Lexa looked sad, but nodded. "That would probably be best."

Clarke turned on her heel and retreated for the door.

"Clarke, wait," Lexa called after her. She hated to see her leave like this. "Maybe we can get together next week? I'm obviously not quite ready for social visits just yet." She felt vulnerable in setting herself up for a very likely rejection after everything that had just happened, but she noticed the barely perceptible softening in Clarke's features.

"Of course. I was still planning on bringing you those fritters after all." A small smile tugged at her lips. "So maybe I can stop by some afternoon and we can chat and get our sugar fix?"

Lexa nodded. "Sounds perfect. Choose a day and time and let me know so I'm not out of the office."

"And you'll actually text me back?"

Lexa rolled her eyes and smiled. "Guess you'll just have to see."

Clarke returned the smile and left the city planner's office, her head spinning with the whirlwind of emotions that had just whipped through that room.

* * *

_*one week later*_

"Clarke, what's got you so damn agitated?" Raven drawled.

Clarke clasped her hands together to stop fidgeting. "What are you talking about?"

Raven laughed. "You're kidding, right? Or do you seriously not see how worked up you are right now? So what is it? Spit it out."

Clarke looked up from her computer screen to see Raven in her trademark hand-on-hip attitude stance. "Ray, seriously, I'm just reading about the spread of infectious diseases. See for yourself."

"Gross. No thanks. Anyway, I look over at you and your foot's tapping incessantly, you're wringing that poor blanket to a pulp, and your whole body is tense. And reading about infectious diseases usually makes you so calm," she quipped.

Clarke rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, really. I'm going to see Lexa this afternoon, so I guess I am a little nervous about that. She's just so hot and cold lately it's hard to know what to expect from her."

"Well, the woman did just go through a rather traumatizing experience and only recently started trying to live a normal life again. What is it you're so nervous about?"

"I dunno. I just hate seeing her sad I mean, it's not like I can expect that I'd be the one to pull her out of her funk, but I kind of want to be...?"

Raven shrugged. "You're driven to fix everything for everyone. That's what makes you such a good doctor."

"Maybe, but Lexa isn't one of my patients. And I just worry every time I think about her and wish I knew she was okay. Most of the time when we're together our conversation just happens so easily like we've known each other forever, but sometimes we clash and butt heads just like the first time we met and she told me she was about to demolish my clinic and there was nothing I could do about it."

Raven chuckled. "Yeah, you were pretty upset that day."

"Oh, I was furious! I just remember thinking she had a lot of nerve telling me what to do. Man, makes me feel anxious just remembering it all."

Raven studied her roommate carefully. "So already you've mentioned that you've felt nervous, worried, furious, and anxious because of Lexa - not to mention she gives off these hot and cold vibes and you butt heads while you also get along like you've known each other forever."

Clarke laughed. "Thanks for the recap." Her brow furrowed. "Most of that sounds pretty negative, doesn't it?"

Raven chuckled. "I'm sure you two will figure things out. You're just anxious in anticipating what's going to happen and what mood she'll be in, but as soon as you actually start talking you know you'll be just fine."

Clarke nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'm making this more of a big deal than it needs to be." Clarke looked down at her wristwatch - the one her father had given her so many years ago. "Shoot, I've gotta go. I'm opening the clinic this morning." She closed her computer, threw on some shoes, grabbed her bag, and ran out the door.

* * *

_*later that afternoon*_

"So I'm running, running, running after the ball as fast as my little 7-year-old legs can carry me when I trip over my own shoelaces and BAM - I completely faceplant into the grass. Like, I even had green smeared on my forehead afterward."

Lexa chuckled. "I wish I could have seen that!"

"Oh, but just wait - here's the best part," Clarke continued, sitting up a little straighter and gesticulating excitedly. "So Raven's on the other team, right? Well, we're playing co-ed and this snooty little boy from her team who had scored all their goals starts laughing at me! I mean, it is pretty funny now, especially since I skidded for probably five feet, practically eating grass. But the little shit is bent over like he can't even hold himself together and pointing and laughing at me. The nerve! So then little Raven says to him, 'Hey, stop being mean. I've seen you slip and fall in a game too!' And then he's like, 'But look at her! She has grass stuck to her face! What a klutz!' Then he just keeps laughing and laughing and some of the other kids join in as I'm just staring up at them from the ground and trying to be brave, and then Raven marches right over and slugs him in the face!"

Lexa gasped. "She didn't!"

"She totally did! That got my feisty spirit back, so I jump up and get right in the kid's face as the refs and coaches and some parents are running onto the field to break us up, and I tell him, "I'm gonna score the next goal and then we'll see who's laughing."

"Oh god, this is too much!" Lexa was laughing so hard she had to keep wiping tears from her face. "Please, please tell me you scored!"

"Of course I did." Clarke smirked. "I had never been so determined to do something in my whole young life, so I immediately get the ball in the very next play and send it right into the net. Then Raven - who, remember, is on the other team - comes up and gives me a high five and says, 'Dude, that was awesome!' and we've been best friends ever since."

Lexa kept laughing until she finally steadied her breathing. "Wow, that was hilarious." She dabbed at the lingering wetness around her eyes. "I have a feeling you two have some great stories together."

"Oh my god, you have no idea." Clarke laughed. "I have loads of blackmail on that girl, but it's mutual, so none of it will likely ever see the light of day."

"I believe it! That totally reminds of this one time Costia..." Lexa froze in stunned silence. She had forgotten. For a short, blissful time Lexa had forgotten her reality. She stared at the ground, lost in thought. Clarke bit her lip - not sure if she should say something or not, and just watched as Lexa wiped the donut crumbs from her lap and pushed up off the floor. Clarke just leaned back against the wall and waited.

"I..." Lexa placed a hand on her desk for support and turned back to look at Clarke. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I thought I was... more okay with this."

"Hey, you don't have to apologize for anything," Clarke said as she stood and approached Lexa. "Nobody says you have to be at some level of 'okay' by a certain point in time."

"I know," Lexa muttered. She pushed herself up to sit on the edge of her desk and dropped her head into her hands. "I haven't even talked about her since then, so it was just kind of jarring to feel her name come out again."

Clarke nodded. "I get that. I didn't want to talk about my dad for months after he died. And it was hard for me to feel like I could be happy or do the things we used to do together because he couldn't be there."

"Yeah, I've definitely been feeling that."

"And it's completely normal, so don't be sorry for the way you feel. Plus, everyone grieves differently, so don't let anyone tell you how you should be feeling or pressure you to do anything you don't want to do."

Lexa looked at her intently. "Thank you, Clarke. I really appreciate that."

"You're welcome."

What Clarke had said reminded Lexa of something. She wasn't sure if it was a topic she wanted to chance right now, but she took a deep breath and went for it anyway. "So did you see your friend Jasper's article in the paper yesterday?"

Clarke arched an eyebrow, surprised at the abrupt change in subject, and especially what she was referring to. "Yeah, I did. The one about Nightblood, right? Where he was saying she hasn't been seen since that night and wondering if what happened had caused her to call it quits?"

"Yeah, that one." Lexa looked down at her hands and tried to keep from looking anxious. "What did you think?"

"I thought the article itself was quite good, and as for what I think about Nightblood... I don't know. I think she was put in a terrible position that night where she really couldn't win, but still managed to save a lot of people, and I'd say that's pretty heroic. But again, I don't think anyone can ever tell someone else when they're ready to return to an old way of life after things drastically change."

Clarke studied Lexa, trying to read her for any kind of response, but she kept her gaze down. Clarke spoke hesitantly, "You know, I actually met Nightblood a little over a month ago."

Lexa froze for a split-second. _How would a normal person react to this?_ She looked up. "Really? Wow! What was she like?"

Clarke smiled. "She was pretty amazing. Fierce. Brave."

Lexa's face fell. "Well, no matter how amazing she seemed, she wasn't enough to save the woman I loved."

"I know you're hurting, Lexa, but it's not your fault."

Lexa scoffed, trying to keep the tears at bay. "It was, though." She sighed. "You have no idea."

Clarke stared her for a moment, then before her better judgment could stop her, she gently placed a hand on Lexa's upper thigh. "Maybe I do."

Lexa gasped - equal parts shocked at the intimate contact, pained from the pressure on her not-quite-healed wound, and terrified about what this might mean. She immediately recoiled from the touch. "Clarke, I'm sorry. I can't..."

Clarke shook her head because the touch communicated something different. "No, Lexa," she whispered. " _I_ _know_." Lexa's eyes widened in shock and Clarke added, "So, how did my stitches hold up?"


	9. Nightblood

Lexa gulped. "Stitches?" Her leg felt like it was on fire although the blonde's hand was cool.

"Yes, stitches. The ones I gave you when you came to me at my old clinic with shrapnel littering your thigh." Clarke maintained an unwavering gaze on the other woman.

Lexa's mind was firing at a million miles a minute. Should she confirm or deny? What would be the consequences of Clarke knowing she was Nightblood? What would she do with this information? Could she be trusted? Would it put her life at risk?

Lexa sighed and submitted. "How long have you known?"

The tension between them let up as the truth was confirmed and Clarke took a step back. "I don't know. It just kind of came to me gradually. I definitely didn't realize that was you when you came to me for help the day of the bank bombing. I think I first entertained the idea the night Costia died. You were nowhere to be found, but Nightblood was all over the news and the internet. I remember thinking about both of you and my heart was breaking for both of you... And then the thought just stuck me - what if Nightblood _is_ Lexa? I kept thinking about it the next few days and it just made sense that if Nia Haiplana knew Nightblood's identity and wanted to attack her personally, going for the person she loved would make the most sense."

Lexa just nodded, the memories still all too fresh.

Clarke continued, "So then I figured one way to know for sure would be to see if your leg was sensitive since it would certainly still be healing from that kind of injury."

Lexa gave a faint chuckle. "Well done, detective. Even our actual head detective doesn't know."

Clarke's brows knit together as she studied the woman before her. "How can you do this, Lexa?"

"Do what, exactly? How can I balance two demanding, separate identities and cope after someone I love was murdered before my eyes and I was powerless to stop it even though a choice I made caused it?"

Clarke just stared for a moment as the weight of Lexa's words made the air thick. "Uh, yeah. All of that, I guess."

Lexa shook her head as she pushed off her desk and walked to the large window at the other side of her office.

Clarke cringed and felt like an idiot as she watched her walk away. Only a few minutes ago they were laughing and enjoying the afternoon together. "I'm so sorry, Lexa. I didn't mean to bring all this up. I just had to know if it was true."

"Of course - curiosity is a natural thing." Lexa took a deep breath and kept her gaze out the window. "Well, I'm moving in a few days. I have most of my things packed up now. That's part of how I'm dealing with everything."

Clarke felt a lump in her throat. "Moving?" she whispered.

Lexa's stony expression softened to a faint smile as she turned to Clarke. She looked lovely in the rosy glow streaming into the room; this wasn't the first time Lexa had noticed how her blonde hair brilliantly reflected whatever light she was immersed in. "Don't worry, Clarke. I won't be far. Just a few miles from where I am now."

Clarke felt her body relax. "Good." She quickly became aware of the emotion she was showing next to the stoic city planner and tried to not be so transparent.

Lexa glanced to a clock on the wall and tsked. "Damn it, I have a board meeting in ten minutes that I am not prepared for." Her eyes grew wide and apologetic.

Clarke nodded in understanding. "It's fine, Lexa. I've taken up way too much of your time anyway." She couldn't deny she felt crestfallen, and she hated that she felt that way. It was ridiculous. Clarke turned to find her purse and her breath hitched as she felt a gentle touch on her arm. Her cheeks flushed as she turned back.

"You never take up too much time, Clarke. Believe me - I'd much rather be with you than with them."

Clarke couldn't seem to form words anymore. She just lost herself in the green eyes in front of her.

Lexa's brow furrowed and she glanced to the ground. "I'm sure I don't have to say this, but you can't tell anyone about... Well, you know what." Her eyes quickly met Clarke's again. "You haven't, right?"

Clarke smiled as she shook her head, the motion finally bringing her mind back to speed. "No, of course not, and I won't. I understand what a delicate thing this is."

"Thank you. We'll get together again soon, okay? We can talk more and I'll brace myself for all the questions I'm sure you have."

Clarke nodded as a smirk spread across her lips. "Good. More time to think of more questions." Lexa laughed, and Clarke was glad to see her relax again. Clarke gathered her things and moved toward the exit. She touched the handle of the door and turned back and found that Lexa was still rooted to her spot by the window and still looking at her. Clarke hoped she wasn't blushing. "It was good to see you again, Lexa."

Lexa's lips turned up in a half smile. "You too, Clarke. Have a good day and drive safe."

Clarke just nodded with a grin as she ducked out of the office. There was a lilt to her step as she walked down the hallway, and she even gave a quick wave of parting to the secretary who never smiled. When she got into the empty elevator she pressed the first floor button, leaned against the wall, closed her eyes, and smiled. This had been a good day.

* * *

Clarke glanced up from her book to see Raven staring at her from across the room.

"What are you looking at, creep?" She smirked.

"You were anxious this morning and now you're giddy tonight. You're over there twirling your hair and smiling and tapping your feet. And you're reading Jurassic Park... No Michael Crichton book has made me feel like that." Raven laughed as she shook her head. "You must be PMSing, right? That's when you get these crazy mood swings."

Clarke chuckled. "No, Aunt Flo left last week."

"Then what happened today that... Oh." Raven's eyes widened as the realization dawned on her. "You were with Lexa today, which was why you were nervous this morning." She tilted her head, fully examining her roommate. "Is she why you're practically bouncing off the walls now?"

Clarke sunk down deeper into the couch. "No. My moods have nothing to do with Lexa."

Raven gaped. "No way - I'm so right. You're blushing, Griffin. I've wondered for a while, but this just confirms it. You're totally into her!" Raven's jaw dropped even further as her quick mind considered all the implications. "But oh my god, you _can't_ be into her. Her girlfriend - and our friend - just _died_ , Clarke! What the hell are you thinking?"

Clarke buried her head in her hands. "I don't know."

"Oh god. I really was right." Raven dropped next to her on the couch and placed a hand on her friend's knee. "How long?"

Clarke shook her head and let her gaze rise up to meet Raven's. "I don't know. I didn't even realize it before now. But I think I've known and just been in denial."

"Does Lexa know? Does she feel the same way?"

"I think 'no' is the answer to both of those questions."

"But you don't know for sure?"

"If I'm just barely realizing I have these feelings, do you honestly think I've talked to Lexa about them?"

Raven shrugged. "I didn't know if this was something she initiated or reciprocated at all."

"I don't know what initiated it," Clarke sighed. "But I can't get her out of my head, Ray. I haven't for days - longer, probably. I just miss her when we're apart and get stupid butterflies when I'm about to see her. Then when we're together everything is effortless. We just naturally fall into this rhythm of humor, banter, and deep stuff too." Clarke chuckled. "God, even when she drives me absolutely crazy I can't even hate it because it's liberating to just _feel_ that much, ya know? And feeling this spectrum of emotions is empowering and invigorating, and possibly just a little bit addicting."

Raven let out a long, low whistle. "Damn, girl. You've got it bad. I haven't seen you like this in a long time."

Clarke groaned as she let her head fall back on the couch. "I know. It's because I haven't _felt_ like this in a long time. But Ray, I _can't_ feel like this, and that's the worst part. And I certainly can't tell her, but it's going to tear me up."

"Well, it's my opinion that feelings this strong are usually reciprocated, even if just a little bit."

"So what exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying I wouldn't be surprised if Lexa has feelings for you too."

Clarke shook her head. "But just imagine being in her position. Even _if_ she has some kind of feelings for me, her girlfriend just _died._ How can she move forward from that? And how soon is it socially acceptable? Those two were perfect together. And we were all friends. It just seems like it would be so wrong."

Raven shrugged. "So does that mean Lexa doesn't deserve to be happy and in love again?"

"No, of course not. She deserves every good thing."

"Okay, please don't go getting all mushy on me here." Raven smirked. "You know I can't handle that kind of emotional crap."

Clarke laughed and punched her arm. "Shut up, Reyes. If you're going to ask me questions about how I feel, you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences."

"Fair enough. So, what's your next move?"

"Next move? It's not like I have a plan to win her over. I'm not going to do anything."

Raven rolled her eyes. "So you're just gonna go on pretending you don't feel anything for her?"

Clarke shrugged. "Basically. But again, I'm just barely realizing all this for myself, Ray. I haven't exactly come up with a 'next move' yet."

"What if she wants to be more than friends?"

"Then she can make the first move. I don't think that's my place."

Raven nodded. "Hmm. Unfortunately that makes a lot of sense. I think you're right."

Clarke smirked. "I can probably count on one hand the number of times you've admitted I'm right about something."

"It's not my fault you can't pull it off very often!"

Clarke punched her again, harder. "You are such a jerk!"

Raven laughed as she winced in pain. "But you still love me!"

"Somehow I still do." Clarke chuckled. "Okay, but joking aside, what would you do if you were in this position?"

Raven drew in a deep breath and glanced down as she considered her words, then back up at her friend. "Well, I think like you said, it would be better to let her make the first move, but I don't think you should completely shut off those feelings in yourself. Spend time with her and get to know her better without pushing her. Let her know you're there for her. The occasional lingering touch or glance probably wouldn't hurt either." Clarke laughed. "I'm serious! When she finally is ready for something new, you will need her to know you're ready and willing and she'll remember all those little moments. They add up when the time is finally right."

Clarke nodded. "Wow. That all actually makes a lot of sense. I think you're right."

"Of course I am."

"Oh, shut up."

Raven laughed. "Okay, but seriously, if you want to know my opinion, I think you two would be really, really good for each other."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah. You have strong personalities that would either completely clash or complement perfectly."

Clarke laughed. "Well, we certainly clashed at the beginning."

"Exactly. Sparks have flown since the moment you met, albeit negative ones at first. But from the very beginning you've evoked very visceral emotions in each other. Now that your friendship is a much more positive and healthy one, I can only see that as being a recipe for success. I'm sure you two would sometimes fight like hell, but you would love just as fiercely."

A wide grin spread across Clarke's face. "Have I ever mentioned that you're the greatest friend ever?"

"Wouldn't hurt to keep reminding me."

Clarke gave her hand an appreciative squeeze. "You are the greatest."

Raven winked. "I know. Now get back to your dinosaurs so I can finally finish studying. Sheesh."

Clarke smiled as she opened her book again. She soon found was reading the same paragraphs over and over because she wasn't retaining any of it. She quickly gave up, put her bookmark in place, laid down, and closed her eyes, but she was far from sleep. Clarke let her mind wander with all the possibilities of being with Lexa. Imagining that they could actually be more than friends someday made her heart soar, but there were so many ways it all could go wrong that it terrified her. She eventually slipped into a fitful sleep that became the norm for the next few nights.

* * *

Clarke smiled when she read the caller ID on her buzzing phone. "Hey, Lexa! What's up?"

"Hi, Clarke. Are you busy? I don't want to bother you if you are."

Clarke laughed. "Nah, not really. I wish I could say I was off doing something incredibly exciting on this Saturday night, but honestly I'm just trying to find the motivation to put away the clothes on my bed." She heard a chuckle in response. "Why, what's up?"

"Um, well... It's my first night in my new apartment, and I realized I don't want to spend it alone." Lexa took a deep breath. "Would you want to come over?"

Clarke's eyes widened in pleasant surprise. She knew this was a big deal for Lexa to invite her into her personal space. Lexa was a bit of a lone wolf, so for her to want to be around someone else meant she really needed the company.

"I'd love to, Lex! Do you want me to bring anything?"

"No need. This isn't anything fancy. I just... I don't even know. It's just so quiet in this neighborhood and I'm tired of having the TV on to break up the silence. Besides, I think it would be good to talk about everything, ya know? Things I guess I should tell you since you know about, well, you know what."

"Yeah, that sounds good. Can I come over in twenty?"

"That's perfect. I'll text you the address."

"Great. See you soon!"

Lexa smiled. "See you soon, Clarke."

Two outfit changes and twenty-three minutes later, Clarke was outside apartment #207, and once again found herself to be a mess of nerves. She had no idea what to expect from this encounter. She'd never been over to Lexa's place before and didn't know if she needed to be happy and upbeat or calm and comforting. She drew in a deep breath and let it out fully before knocking on the door.

No answer.

"Lexa?"

She knocked again.

Ten seconds passed and her heart dropped. She checked her phone to see if she had missed any messages telling her to come later or not at all. There was nothing.

"Clarke!" she heart the muffled call coming from inside the apartment. "Just one second - I'll be right there!"

Clarke couldn't help gaping as the door opened partway to reveal Lexa in nothing but a towel wrapped around her glistening body, damp hair falling all around her.

"God, I'm so sorry Clarke. I just wanted to take a quick shower before you came but obviously lost track of the time. Come in and make yourself comfortable while I change."

All Clarke could do was nod as she walked through the entry and tried not to stare at the practically naked, gorgeous woman who also happened to be the recent object of her affection. She watched Lexa saunter off, then quickly looked for something to distract her. She dropped onto the couch and picked up a Vogue magazine from the coffee table.

Several minutes later Lexa showed up again, patting her hair with a towel. She plopped down next to Clarke and smiled. "Hello, Clarke."

"Hello, Lexa." She grinned in return.

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too."

"But I'm basically the worst host ever, right?"

"Nah," Clarke winked. "I've had worse."

Lexa's head fell back as she laughed. "At least I'm not _the_ worst!" She finished with the towel and shook her hair behind her. "So, how was your day? How was the clinic?"

"Today was really good. I didn't have any irritable patients to deal with, no vomit to clean up, and no one even tried to sneak off with extra meds!"

"That certainly sounds like a successful day. You know, I've actually been meaning to go back and volunteer again. I might be be able to next week if my schedule doesn't fill up."

"We would love to have you back. And you know how all the patients adore you, especially when they find out you're _the_ Ms. Woods, city planner and savior of Polis." Clarke enunciated the title like she was announcing royalty.

"Oh, shut up," Lexa giggled. "It's hardly like that."

"Just imagine if they also knew you were the superhero keeping their streets safe."

Lexa stiffened and Clarke watched her hesitantly.

"It's still weird for me that you know."

Clarke chuckled. "It's weird for me too." She let herself study the woman in front of her, using all her willpower to quell the raging butterflies in her stomach so she could just look at her.

After a few seconds Lexa squirmed under her gaze. "Okay, you don't have to stare..." She smirked despite feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." Clarke grinned. "I'm just imagining you with that face paint on." Without realizing what she was doing, Clarke's fingers moved to Lexa's face and faintly traced the outline of the streaks that would trail beneath her eyes.

Lexa laughed. "Well, I can go put it on if you like..."

Clarke shook her head and smiled as she let her hands drop away. "Maybe later - that would actually be really cool - but for now I just want you to be Lexa."

Lexa nodded and her smile faded as she returned the blonde's steady gaze. A gnawing started to grow within her that she didn't want to feel so she quickly cleared her throat. "Well since we've already started on the subject, we might as well keep going. You said you were preparing questions..."

Clarke laughed as she settled back against the couch's armrest. "Yes! Man, there's so much I want to know. But let's start with this: Why the name Nightblood?"

"Ah, excellent question. I got that idea from my dad, actually. When I was a little girl, before he died, he used to tell me bedtime stories almost every night." Lexa's eyes closed and she smiled at the memory. "And they were fantastic stories, full of adventure and mystery. I didn't want a story about princesses unless there were dragons and battles as well."

"Well, those are the best kinds of stories!" Clarke laughed.

"Exactly. Most of his stories would last over several nights, and he wove characters and thrilling events together so that most nights I couldn't wait to go to bed. Sometimes I even had to remind my parents that it was past my bedtime so I better go put on my pajamas and brush my teeth."

"You didn't!" Clarke clutched her side as she giggled. "You must have been a dream child."

Lexa laughed. "I suppose that does sound pretty odd for a kid, but I can't even tell you how much I loved those stories! But my favorite out of all of them was the adventures of Nightblood, the superhero whose black blood gave him special powers that helped him fight evil."

"Did he have the warpaint too?"

Lexa grinned and nodded. "Yes, and my dad even sketched it out for me so I could see what he envisioned. It looked _so_ cool. So when I decided to do all this, Nightblood immediately came to mind. I never expected anyone to even know me by that name, though. I never expected it to become this big."

Clarke's brows furrowed. "So what exactly did you expect?"

"I don't know - I guess I just figured I would take things into my own hands to stop violence and injustice when I could. The disguise would only be to hide who I was, not become an actual icon. Then Detective Blake heard about me from a CI she had on the streets and she found me one night. I was afraid she would try to stop me and I'd have to run away from the police, but she thanked me for what I was doing and said we'd both be even more effective if we worked together. I was shocked."

"That must have been so cool!"

Lexa chuckled. "It seriously was. Still blows my mind when I stop to think about it."

"So when did this first start?"

Lexa took a deep breath as she searched her memory for the details. "It was just about a year ago now that I hit the streets as Nightblood for the first time. And it's not like this was anything I aspired to growing up - it just kind of happened. I did study martial arts as a kid and became a black belt in high school, so that's where my training came from." Her expression darkened. "Then there was this one night when I was in college, walking home after a late class, and a man assaulted me from behind."

Clarke's hand covered her mouth in shock. "No."

"I fought and fought to resist him, but he just kept coming at me with even more aggression with each second. I couldn't wrench free of his grasp on my leg and then I saw him reach for his coat pocket. I didn't know if might be a knife or a gun he was going for, and I was running on pure adrenaline and struck his neck with my foot, crushing his trachea and killing him."

Clarke just stared for a moment, wide eyed and slack jawed. "Oh, Lexa. I can't even imagine how traumatizing that must have been. But the cops knew it was self-defense, right?"

Lexa nodded slowly. "Yes, there was an interrogation and investigation, but it was pretty clear to them what had happened. Plus, the guy had a history of violence." She shuddered. "Anyway, fast forward several years later, again at a time I was walking alone at night, and I heard a woman's scream coming from an alley off the main street. These two men had cornered the woman and were likely about to gang rape her, and those instincts in me just kicked in again and I started to fight them back. I may have been smaller than either of them, but they quickly saw I was actually a trained fighter and they ran off. Then the woman... She thanked me over and over and said I had saved her life. She asked me my name and said she was actually a very wealthy woman and wanted to pay me for what I had done and make sure I was in the news for my heroic acts. I immediately froze at that idea and protested the money and attention because that certainly wasn't what I wanted or expected. So I just walked her to her car and that was that."

"That is amazing." Clarke stared at her in awe. "And you're a much better person than I am because I don't know if I would have refused money and fame from a wealthy woman."

Lexa looked at her intently. "Says the person who is content to be underpaid for co-founding a medical clinic to help people who can't afford alternate healthcare."

Clarke felt the blush rise to her cheeks. "It's not the same and you know it. Anyway, keep going."

"Well, I had been on my way to Costia's apartment that night, so when I got there I told her everything that had happened, and how terrifying but amazing the experience had been. That one time I had been attacked in college my skills helped protect myself, but experiencing what it was like to save another person like that... I don't even know how to describe it. It was empowering. I told Costia it felt like something I was meant to do, more than anything else I had felt before - even more than rebuilding Polis." Lexa's head dropped. "Costia was so encouraging. The idea worried her a bit, of course, but she fully supported me in whatever I thought was right." Lexa felt her bottom lip quiver and tried to suppress the emotions rising in her.

Clarke waited for her to continue, but saw a tear drop into the brunette's lap. "Oh, Lex..."

"I miss her, Clarke. I miss her so much it hurts."

"There's nothing wrong with feeling that way."

Lexa lifted her head. "I know. Doesn't make it any easier, though. I just feel like I can't be fully happy anymore. I mean, I'll put on a smile and continue on. There's no way I'd give up on life, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Costia will never be happy again; she'll never _be_ anything again. Nothing more than a memory."

Clarke held her gaze. "That's not true. She's so much more than a memory. Even just for me I know I'm changed for the better for having known her. She was full of so much goodness; how could I not try to reflect that more myself? So I can only imagine how much she's influenced you."

Lexa just stared at her, sniffling for several moments, and then the tears really fell as she dropped her head into her hands.

"Oh god, Lex. I'm so sorry." She grabbed the box of tissues from the coffee table and passed them to her friend who readily accepted them without glancing up. Clarke suddenly felt so out of place. Here she was, in Lexa's new home, watching her mourn. After a moment she gently and hesitantly put an arm around Lexa. The brunette froze at her touch, but then let herself sink into the embrace and just cried. They sat together like that without exchanging a word for several minutes. Clarke had brought her other arm around Lexa and just held her as she wept on her shoulder.

As her tears started to subside, Lexa heard a faint sniffling that wasn't her own. She slowly lifted her head. "Are... Are _you_ crying?"

"No. Maybe. Yes." Clarke let out a half-laugh as she wiped an eye.

"Why?"

"Well, just being here with you and thinking about everything makes me feel so, so sad. I'm sad to not have Costia as my friend and great volunteer in the clinic. I'm devastated for you for losing the one person who meant everything to you, and even worse for how it happened and the position you were put in." Clarke sighed. "You just deserve so much happiness, Lexa. Practically everyone in the city loves you for all you're doing here, but no one even knows the other half of you who has done incredible things and literally saved hundreds of lives. You deserve so much more."

Lexa shook her head. "I don't, though."

Clarke looked straight at her: "I don't believe that. Not for one second. What would Costia want for you?"

Just hearing her name this much hurt Lexa, but the answer came crashing over her like a tidal wave. _You,_ she thought. _You are what Costia would want for me._ Lexa gaped at the revelation and hated herself for thinking it, but knew it was true, almost as if Costia herself was saying the words in her mind. At this, Lexa dropped her head into her hands over Clarke's lap to let the new wave of tears fall freely.

"Oh, Lexa!" Clarke's heart was breaking for the poor woman crying in her lap. "You must think I'm so insensitive. I'm such an idiot."

Lexa choked on deep breaths between sobs. "No - you're - not."

"Shhhh, it's okay." Clarke combed her fingers through the dark brown hair in her lap, which started to calm her companion. "I'm done talking now, so you just let it all out."

Lexa let out a sniffling laugh. "It looks like I already have. God, I'm so sorry. I've cried all over you."

Clarke chuckled as she looked down at the random splotches on her jeans. "Don't worry about it. That's what I'm here for."

Lexa was practically laying down on her already, so she just extended her legs and flipped to her side, her back to Clarke, head on her lap, and took a calming deep breath.

Clarke realized her fingers were still entwined in Lexa's hair. She started to pull back but asked softly, "Do you want me to stop?"

Lexa shook her head against her leg. "No. Please."

Clarke smiled and let her fingers splay through the dark hair again. She knew how soothing it felt to have someone play with her hair when she was a mess like this. After a few minutes Lexa's breathing became slow and even, the tension leaving her body. Clarke was happy to see she was relaxed enough to fall asleep. She was sure she needed it. She kept playing with her hair, loving how thick and long and soft it was. Clarke wanted to touch her skin, trace her fingertips along the contour of her neck... She quickly shook the thought from her head and mentally chastised herself. If she had known someone else was thinking like that about a person in Lexa's situation, she probably would have tried to slap some sense into them. She sighed and willed her mind to wander in other directions. This was definitely not the time nor place, but Clarke was content for now in just soaking up this moment of peace with the person who was quickly starting to occupy most of her mind and heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have a couple things to confess that have made this chapter take a lot longer to post. First, some of you know that I'm also writing another fic (Zombies Nou Drein Jus Daun, which is a Lexark The 100/Fear the Walking Dead crossover you should totally read *shameless plug*). Second, I just started Game of Thrones and OH MY GOSH I cannot stop. It's so good and I only have a few episodes left until I'm caught up. Haha so... I've maybe been binging that when I normally would have been writing... ;)
> 
> The last couple chapters have been a bit slower as mourning and healing have been the focus, but a change of pace is about to come again... I think there will be just a couple more chapters to round out the story I've envisioned, so stay tuned!


	10. Only Fools Rush In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait a few weeks for this update. The upside to the long wait, however, is that I finished my other main Clexa fic, Zombies Nou Drein Jus Daun, and also figured out the ending for this one! For the past few chapters I've worried about what the end would hold because endings are just about the hardest part to write, in my opinion. Luckily, I had a sudden stroke of inspiration, wrote it all down, and that helped me get a better idea of what this chapter needed to be.
> 
> There will be just one more installment in this story, and it will include an epilogue. Stay tuned, and let me know what you think of this one! :)

"Hey, Clarke, you're still free tonight, right?"

"Yeah, I think so, Ray. Why?"

Raven tried to restrain a smile. "Because I've invited Lexa over for dinner."

The pen Clarke was using to scribble notes froze in place. "Lexa?"

"Yes, Lexa, you dork. Why do you look so surprised?"

"She's never been here before."

"There's a first time for everything."

"But is this the right time for the first time?"

"My god, Griffin. It's no wonder you two haven't gotten anywhere yet. Do you analyze everything this much? Wait, of course you do. You're Clarke Griffin."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "She didn't even mention it yesterday."

"That's because I just asked her this morning." Raven moved to their small kitchen table, sat across from Clarke, and arched an eyebrow. "So, how have those weekly lunches been going?"

Over the last two months since Lexa had first invited Clarke to her apartment, the girls had met up at least once each week for lunch. Lexa wanted to stay caught up on Clarke's odd encounters in the clinic and hilarious moments with Raven. Clarke wanted to make sure Lexa was still healing and moving forward in life.

At least, those were the reasons they told themselves.

The denied reality was that those two women could not get enough of each other. Lexa craved Clarke's witty banter and positivity, while Clarke was enthralled by the stories of Lexa's life that most people weren't privy to. The fact that they cared for each other was clear to both, but neither knew for sure if it was romantic or simply platonic love from the other woman. To say this was a complicated situation would be an understatement.

"They've been fine. Great, really," the blonde conceded.

"Well? Give me more than that, Griff! I have been such a good friend by not being nosy about this for weeks! It's really been killing me."

"You? Not being nosy? It's a wonder you're not dead already."

Raven gasped and grabbed a carrot from Clarke's plate and threw it at her face. "Jerk."

Clarke laughed. "You know I'm kidding. Mostly."

"So then, kidding aside, level with me here. Do you still feel like you want to be more than friends? Does she? Have you moved past that already and been incredibly rude by leaving me in the dark?"

"C'mon now. You think I would be able to keep something like that to myself? If we had even held hands I'd be bouncing off the walls."

Raven chuckled. "Good point. So?"

Clarke took a deep breath. "So this time we've spent together has been really, really good. I feel like I'm getting to know Lexa so much better, and she's become one of my rocks - just like you."

"But it's more than that too."

"Of course." Clarke sighed. "For _me_. I don't know if she feels the same."

"Really? After all this time and you still can't get a read on her?"

Clarke shrugged. "No, and it's not something I want to push. Because maybe she does have feelings for me but she isn't emotionally ready, and if I make a premature move it will just push her away."

Raven nodded. "Yeah, I get that. So I suppose the only solution is for you to keep spending time together until you figure out where she stands. Hence, tonight's dinner!"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "So this dinner is your attempt at playing matchmaker?"

Raven chuckled. "Not quite. I mean, your match is already made, so I'd like to think of myself as more of... an eye opener."

"Well, that certainly sounds like an important title."

"Shut up, Griffin. One day you'll thank me."

* * *

_*Four hours later*_

"Good grief, woman, put the duster down. Wait, did you just buy that today?"

Clarke shot her roommate an icy stare and continued her last round of cleaning.

Raven burst into laughter. "You're kidding me! You bought a duster just because Lexa's coming over? Oh, this is too much."

"Shut up, Ray. You haven't seen her place. It's immaculate."

"Pretty sure you've only been there once and it was her first night in the place. Not too much time to get it messy."

Clarke sighed and dropped onto the couch. "You know I stress clean."

"I know you do."

"And I hope you realize how stressful it was for you to just spring this on me the day of."

Raven chuckled. "Why do you think I only gave you a few hours notice? You would have been just as stressed out for however long you knew in advance. I almost didn't tell you at all and was just going to have Lexa show up."

"You wouldn't!"

"Nearly did."

Clarke finally let out a laugh. "Okay, I'll admit this was probably the best way to preserve most of my sanity."

"See? I know you, Griff. I promise I'm on your side."

"I'm nervous, Ray. Why the hell am I so nervous? I see her at least once a week. Usually more."

"It's because she's coming more into your personal space this time, which is something she offered you weeks ago. You let yourself become a little vulnerable when people see you in your element."

Clarke leapt to her feet when she heard a knock at that door. "She's here."

"Wow, nothing gets past you, does it?" Raven winked at her friend. "Now put away the damn duster and open the door for our guest. I'll finish in the kitchen."

Clarke hurried to throw the duster in the hall closet, then went to the front door. She took a deep breath, opened it, and smiled. Lexa was dressed simply in jeans and a casual fitted v-neck, and Clarke swore this was the most radiant she'd ever seen her. Clarke was surprised to notice her nerves faded away the moment she saw her.

"Lexa!" Clarke's smile widened and she held out her arms.

Lexa couldn't help the light laugh that escaped her lips at the immediate warm welcome. She wrapped her arms tightly around her host and let the hug linger for just a moment longer than usual. "Mmm, you smell wonderful," she whispered into the blonde's ear.

Clarke's breath hitched at the small and unexpected intimate gesture, then forced her muscles to relax again. "Thank you. You look..." Her gut reaction was to throw out a word like beautiful or lovely, but Clarke even surprised herself when she said truthfully, "You look happy, Lex. Relaxed."

Lexa grinned. "Yeah, you know, I feel happy and relaxed. It was a stressful week, as usual, but the weekend is finally here, and I guess I just knew seeing you tonight would let some of your positivity rub off." Lexa's grin grew and Clarke's heart melted into a puddle of mush that she tried to mentally scoop up again before she looked like a gaping fool. Luckily, Lexa kept talking and didn't notice the momentary lapse in function. "Plus, I've heard Raven bragging about her cooking skills for months, so it's about time I see if she's all talk or not."

Clarke laughed as her brain got back up to speed. "Most of the time she's all talk, but when it comes to food, the woman does not kid around. Can I take your coat?"

"Thanks." Lexa flashed another beautiful smile as she handed over the pea coat that matched her emerald eyes.

"Hey, Ray?" Clarke called out as she hung it in the closet. Her roommate had been suspiciously silent in the kitchen since Lexa had arrived. "You ready for us?"

Raven came around the corner like she had just realized they were there. "Lexa! I'm so glad you came." They exchanged a quick hug, then Raven ushered them both to the table. "Okay, now I can't make any promises on this dish since it's my first attempt, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna knock your socks off. It's herb-crusted chicken with risotto and caramelized onions."

"Oh, please, Ray," Clarke laughed. "You know it's going to be fantastic or you wouldn't let us touch it."

"You sure about that?" Raven teased as she placed the food on the table.

"No," Clarke admitted, "but I do know you wouldn't let _Lexa_ touch it."

"Ah, touché, Griffin!" Raven laughed.

"It smells incredible," Lexa said as her plate was set in front of her. "You really didn't have to go through all this trouble."

Clarke leaned over to Lexa and smirked. "Believe me, she lives for moments like this. She gets to try a new recipe _and_ you're a new guinea pig that she gets to wow with her talent. Her life is basically complete."

"Almost," Raven added as she sat down. "Now what will make it totally complete is hearing you both tell me how good it is. And don't you look at me like that, Clarke."

Clarke's lips pursed as she tried to hold back a laugh. "Fine. Let's put it to the test." She and Lexa both scooped up their first bite, and simultaneously moaned in delight the moment it touched their lips.

"I don't care what kind of flak Clarke gives you, Raven. This is superb."

Raven shot Clarke a triumphant look. "Did you hear that, Princess? She didn't just say it was good. It's 'superb'. And by the looks of it, you don't think it's half bad either."

Clarke was already on her fourth mouthful. "I surrender," she mumbled. "It's amazing and you know it."

Raven closed her eyes and sighed. "Now my life is complete."

They ate and made easy conversation over the next hour, all three thoroughly enjoying each other's company. As they finished cleaning the last of the dishes Raven announced, "Now you two go sit down in the other room because I've got a surprise for you."

"Say what now?" Clarke did not trust Raven with surprises, especially not with their present company.

Raven called out as she walked down the hall, "Lexa, will you please educate the blonde on the meaning of the word 'surprise'?"

Lexa giggled. "Well, Clarke-"

"Don't you even start with me," Clarke teased as she poked the brunette's side.

Lexa doubled over involuntarily at the touch and laughed even harder. "Oh, don't you start _that._ " She scurried over to the couch. "I'm safe! The couch is base."

"The couch is base?" Clarke laughed. "What, are we five?"

"Says the one who tried to start a tickle fight."

"Okay, fair enough. But who says you get to make up the rules?"

"She's our guest, Clarke," Raven said as she walked back into the room. "Don't you know the first thing about having guests?"

"Well, I guess it's just been too long since-" Clarke stopped mid-sentence. "Raven, what are you doing with that?"

Lexa gasped in delight. "Raven! You play the guitar?"

Raven smirked as she handed the instrument over to its owner. "No, but Clarke does. It's been so long since you've taken this out, Griff. Play something for us?"

Lexa gaped and poked Clarke's side. "You never told me you play guitar!"

Clarke side-eyed her roommate. "That's because I don't anymore. Not really."

Lexa could sense the unease in the blonde. "Why not?"

Clarke sighed. "My dad taught me how to play. He was amazing. I've hardly touched it since he died."

"But when she does touch it, it sends electricity through the room." Raven smiled. "This girl's got talent."

Lexa grinned. "Well, with such a glowing review, you can't say no now."

Clarke gave a small smile. Just the thought of playing again was slightly painful and full of so many memories, but seeing Lexa look at her like that breathed new life into her fingers and they suddenly itch to play again. Clarke closed her eyes and let out a quiet, content sigh as she strummed the familiar strings, letting the sounds reverberate throughout her being. The memories did bring some pain, but more than that was this release and exhilaration that only music could offer Clarke, and one that she hardly let others see.

Raven sat back across the room in masked amusement as she watched this all unfold before her. Everything seemed to be going according to plan. Clarke was Raven's dearest friend in the world, and she wanted to see her happy. So far Lexa was appearing to be a pretty good candidate for that, otherwise Raven wouldn't have played the guitar card since it was a guaranteed showstopper. The scheming friend knew if these two really had feelings for each other, which was pretty obvious to her by now even if they didn't want to admit it, then this could only help move things along. She cleared her throat and spoke up again. "Clarke doesn't play often, or for many people, but when she does, it's absolutely beautiful."

Clarke stilled her fingers and glanced up at her roommate, trying to discern what in the world she was aiming for with all this. "Sheesh, Ray, way to amp up the pressure."

Raven smirked. "What? It's just me and Lexa."

Clarke snorted. "Right. _Just_ you two."

"But you will play something for us now, won't you?" Lexa asked. She looked at Clarke with a kind of reverence that few things elicited from the mostly-stoic city planner.

Clarke met her gaze and started to feel that melty, puddly sensation again from earlier. She turned her attention back to the instrument and closed her eyes as her muscle memory recalled the chords. Her eyes opened again and landed on Lexa. "What will it be?"

Lexa's grin stretched further than Clarke had yet seen. "Really? Can I pick anything?"

Clarke shrugged. "I'm definitely rusty, but if it's a song I know, I can usually pick it out."

"Don't let her fool you, Lexa," Raven interjected. "She's amazing."

Clarke ignored her roommate and kept her focus on the woman seated beside her.

"You choose," Lexa said. "Whatever speaks to you."

Clarke sighed. "Okay, then this first one's gonna be really cheesy."

"The more cheese the better!"

"Shut up, Raven. Anyway..." Clarke started playing the introductory chords, smiling as they came back to memory with little effort. "Dad and my favorite artist to play together was Elvis, and this was the song Mom loved most for him to sing to her."

"I thought you said cheesy, Griff. This is downright mushy. I don't know if I can take it."

"Shut up, Raven," Lexa echoed, surprising them all. She chuckled. "I want to hear her without your interruptions."

Raven smirked and threw up her hands in silent surrender.

Lexa smiled. "Go ahead, Clarke."

"Don't forget to sing," Raven mumbled.

"What did I say about -" Lexa turned back to Clarke. "You sing too?"

Clarke rolled her eyes at her roommate and smiled at Lexa's reaction as she played the introduction again. In an instant she was transported to a simpler time in her life - a time when her parents were alive and her life was full of their laughter and joy and love. Clarke was ten years old and her father had just finished teaching her the chords to this song when her mom walked into the garage.

" _What are you two doing?" she asked with a playful smile._

" _Dad's teaching me -" Clarke's words were stopped short as her father covered her mouth._

" _Shh, don't tell her. Let's show her."_

_Clarke nodded excitedly and started to hand over his guitar. "Here you go."_

_He shook his head. "We're gonna do something different this time, kiddo. You play it on your own, and I'll be dancing with my wife." He held out his hand and Abby grinned as she took it._

" _But, Dad, I haven't played it just by myself before!"_

_Jake winked. "But you know how. Start with the introduction like I showed you, and I'll sing."_

" _Okay. Here goes nothing."_

_Her parents chuckled and Clarke began to play._

" _Just a little slower, kiddo."_

" _Oh, right. This is a love song, not a march," Clarke quoted his earlier words to her._

_Jake smiled. "Exactly. Try again." He nodded as she restarted. "That's it!"_

_Clarke didn't even realize her fingers were strumming the right chords without her telling them what to do. She just watched her parents dance and listened to her father sing as though the words had only been written for the woman he loved._

Clarke smiled at the sweet memory, cleared her throat, and began to sing.

" _Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in,_

_But I can't help falling in love with you._

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help falling in love with you?"_

As she neared the end of the song, Clarke was finding it harder to choke down her emotions.

" _Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life, too,_

_For I can't help falling in love with you,_

_For I can't help falling in love with you."_

Clarke wiped a solitary tear from her cheek. "I think one song's all I've got in me tonight." She forced a laugh. "Sorry for being such a killjoy."

Lexa placed a hand on one of Clarke's and looked at her intently until the blonde returned her gaze. "That was beautiful, Clarke. Thank you for sharing that with us - for sharing part of you."

Clarke couldn't quite form any words so she just nodded in response.

They all startled as Lexa's phone rang loudly from her purse on the floor. "I thought I turned that off earlier!" She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a phone Clarke didn't recognize. "I'm so sorry, I have to take this. It could be important."

Clarke and Raven nodded as they watched her walk down the hallway. They knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but what else were they going to do?

"Hello? ... Uh huh ... You're sure it's urgent? ... No, of course I understand. I'm just with some friends right now, so can I call you back in a few minutes? ... Okay, thanks. Bye."

Lexa returned to the room with a pained apology etched in her features.

"You have to go?" Clarke asked.

"Yes, and I wouldn't if it wasn't important." Lexa sighed. "This is awful timing." She turned to Raven and gave her a hug. "Thank you so much for dinner and for inviting me over. The food was incredible. And Clarke..." If there were only time and words to express what Lexa was feeling. " _You_ are incredible." She pulled the blonde into her arms. "Thank you for such a fun night and for playing your song."

Clarke smiled as they stepped back. "Thank you for coming. I'll grab your coat and walk you out."

Raven winked at her roommate as she passed by and Clarke mouthed _shut up._

The girls paused once they reached Lexa's car and Clarke asked, "The call was for Nightblood, wasn't it?"

Lexa nodded. "Yeah, it was."

"Is everything okay? Do you have to go out _tonight_?"

Lexa chuckled. "Possibly. I'll have to call Detective Blake back and find out."

"And she said it was urgent? That's not also code for dangerous, is it?"

Lexa took Clarke's hands in hers, radiating warmth through the blonde's body. "Hey, don't worry, okay? I'm gonna be fine-"

"Don't you dare say 'just like always'." Clarke's expression was both playful and serious. "I've had to stitch you up myself, you know."

"Oh, I do know," Lexa laughed as she patted her leg. "I've got a scar to prove it."

Clarke winced. "Do you really? You never told me that. I'm so sorry."

"For what? Saving my life? You were forced to do it quickly without your usual supplies. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Clarke held onto Lexa's gaze. "Be safe, please. I'm not going to apologize for worrying about you because there is literally no one else who knows to worry about you!"

Lexa smiled and gave Clarke's hands a squeeze. Costia used to say the same thing almost verbatim to her. "Clarke, you don't even know 90% of the times I go out."

"Doesn't mean I still don't worry."

Lexa let a brief silence fall between them as she looked at the woman in front of her. "Thank you for letting me hear you play, Clarke. And sing. You're a very talented musician."

Clarke's gaze dropped to the ground. She wasn't expecting the change in subject. Her eyes fell to their still-clasped hands and a smile came to her lips. "Thank you. I think I might be able to play for you again sometime."

"Yeah? I think I'd like that."

Clarke lifted her head and smirked. "But that means you can't let anything happen to you while you're out being a superhero."

"You've got a deal, Clarke Griffin, and I won't let you forget it." Lexa sighed. "I'm afraid I really have to go now."

Clarke nodded. "Tonight was good." She smiled, wishing she could somehow convey what she felt.

Lexa smiled. "It was." She leaned in and left a lingering kiss on Clarke's cheek. "Thank you for being you."

Clarke returned the smile and gave Lexa's hands one last squeeze before they dropped apart. She watched her drive away and returned inside.

"Well, that was a nice, long goodbye..." Raven smirked.

Clarke was about to automatically respond with something snarky, but instead smiled and said, "Yeah, it was. We held hands and she kissed me on the cheek."

Raven whooped and threw her hands in the air. "Yes! It's about time something happened between you two!"

Clarke blushed and her smile widened. "Yeah, it was nice."

Raven laughed. "You're grinning like an idiot, Griffin. I love it. I didn't slave over that herb-crusted chicken with risotto and caramelized onions for nothing!" Raven gasped. "Oh my god, Clarke. It's _magic_ risotto!"

Clarke started laughing so hard she clutched her sides. "No, please don't tell me you're referring to Sookie's magic risotto from _Gilmore Girls_."

"That's exactly what I'm referring to! It's a real thing! You know the story - she made the magic risotto for her mother who was on her deathbed, and she ended up living for -"

"Three more years," Clarke chimed in. The girls stared at each other and fell into another fit of laughter. "Okay, I'm convinced!" Clarke said. "You have achieved magic risotto status. Sookie would be so proud."

"I think she would!" Raven dropped onto the couch and picked up the remote. "Now let's see what we've got on the news tonight."

"Do we have to listen to the news?" Clarke groaned. "That's just a depressing end to a good day." She walked into the kitchen to finish putting away the last of the food. She hummed to herself as she replayed each and every wonderful detail of the night she just had.

Several minutes later Raven's voice broke her reverie. "Clarke? CLARKE!"

"Sheesh, Ray, you don't have to yell. What is it?"

"Get in her now!"

Clarke muttered as she rounded the corner. "What in the world could be so -" Luckily, the bowl Clarke had been holding was plastic because it crashed to the floor as she saw Lexa's face filling the television, and in the next moment the smug grin of Nia Haiplana shared the screen. "Ray, what the hell is this?"

"Just come sit down and listen," Raven urged.

" _Our breaking news tonight is centered on Nia Haiplana, the woman who terrorized the city of Polis just three months ago with the public execution of Costia Fiyanes. That night Haiplana had claimed we would not be hearing from her for another six months, but she has come out of the shadows three months early and is now demanding to have another member of this city handed over to her - city planner Lexa Woods. It is known that Ms. Woods and the late Ms. Fiyanes had been dating, so this appears to be some kind of personal vendetta for Haiplana, and not just a random attack as had been originally supposed. Here again is the video of Haiplana's demands that she submitted herself to news stations across the city only twenty minutes ago."_

Fresh tears were streaming down Clarke's face and her fists clenched as Nia's face returned to the screen and her arrogant voice filled the room.

" _Polis, how lovely it is to see you all again. Now, I know I had told you before that you would not see me again for six months, but since then I have found it necessary to bump up my timetable. I'm sure you all understand the difficulties of trying to manage a tight schedule._

_For the last year you have had to endure the changes and meddling of a new city planner who is trying to take over Polis and alter the very foundations that once made this city great. Some may say she's making life better and reducing crime rates. I say she's self-serving and egotistical. Has she not rooted some of you out of your homes and businesses just to satisfy her 'vision' for the city?_

_So, dear citizens of my beloved Polis, all I'm asking of you is to turn Lexa Woods over to me, for she and I have a personal score to settle. Do this, and I swear another life will never again be taken by my hand. Ignore this generous offer and your city's death toll will rise exponentially within days. You have not been able to trace me up to this point, and trust me when I say you never will._

_Make sure she is at City Hall in twenty-four hours, by 9 PM tomorrow. Satisfy this one demand and you will be forever free of my influence; refuse and you will be greeted by death."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the shit hitting the fan at the end of such a lovely evening for our girls... But on a lighter note, is anyone else really wishing they could hear Eliza playing Elvis on her guitar and singing along? ;)
> 
> Just one more chapter, folks, so stay tuned and any comments on this one are much appreciated!


	11. All I Need Is You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it - last chapter, folks! I really loved piecing this one together, so I hope you'll enjoy it and find the ending to be a satisfactory way to wrap up the story. I appreciate any and all comments you leave because they help with future writing endeavors! And speaking of which, next I plan to finally finish my first Clexa fic, Alliance, which I haven't touched since season 3 started (don't hate me). I'll also clean up two Nyssara (Nyssa and Sara from Arrow) fics I wrote forever ago but never posted. I've outlined the beginnings of several other Clexa fics, so I'm sure you'll be seeing more from me here in my favorite fandom soon. Stay tuned! :)

_*10:00 AM*_

Clarke rapped on the door four times.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Lex. Open up."

Clarke heard a heavy sigh as footsteps approached, and she didn't hesitate walking straight in as soon as the door was opened.

"You haven't answered or returned any of my calls, Lex. What's going on?"

"I had assumed from all your calls and texts that you knew what was going on. Have you seen the news?"

"Yes, of course I heard the news, but why are you shutting me out?" Clarke glanced around the darkened room. "Damn, you're shutting the whole world out." She quickly opened blinds and pulled back curtains to let in the early morning light.

Lexa sat at her kitchen table and rested her head in her hands. "Because it's apparently what I do in situations like this."

Clarke's expression softened as she sat across from the other woman. "But I want to be here for you, Lexa. Don't you see that? You don't have to go through these situations alone. I'm the one person who knows about Nightblood and your connection to Nia. I should be a support for you and you should let me."

Lexa groaned as her fingers clenched tightly into her hair. "Do you so quickly forget what happened to the last person who was that support for me?" She lifted her eyes to meet Clarke's intense gaze.

"No, I don't," Clarke responded softly.

"You aren't safe if you're close to me, Clarke. That's just the truth, plain and simple." She sighed. "And apparently neither is the entire city."

"Lexa..."

"No, Clarke. Don't try to talk me out of going to Nia. I have no other options, and I can't let anyone die because of me."

"I'm not here to talk you out of it."

Lexa arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah," Clarke chuckled. "I'm actually here to tell you to go."

Lexa just stared at the blonde. "Who are you and what have you done with Clarke Griffin?"

Clarke's head fell back as she laughed. "It's me, I swear. But I've got a plan to run by you, Nightblood, and it's crazy enough that I think it just might work."

"A plan?"

"Yep. To take down Nia. Once and for all."

"Clarke, if you think for one second I'm going to allow you to put yourself in harm's way..."

"No, no - nothing like that. If we can orchestrate things just right, you'll be the only one in harm's way tonight - just the way you like it," she added with a wink, "and I'll be safely out of reach."

Lexa narrowed her eyes. "I can't say I'm not suspicious, but you've definitely got my attention. Start talking."

* * *

_*8:40 PM*_

Jasper walked to his office window in the building directly west of City Hall, where Nia demanded to have Lexa in just twenty minutes. The streetlights lit up the building and surrounding area in an eerie glow. Despite it being called City Hall, the building hadn't functioned as anything more than a historical artifact for the last decade. The last time Jasper had gone inside was when his government class senior year had taken a day trip to tour the landmark.

"Feels like déjà vu, huh?"

"What?" Monty's attention was directed toward the drone he was tinkering on.

"This whole situation with Nia. Taking hostages. Threatening lives. Tormenting the city. You getting a drone ready. It feels like where we were three months ago with Costia all over again."

Monty nodded. "Yeah, but things will be different this time."

"I hope so. Is that thing ready yet? You make me nervous when you're making changes to it at the last minute."

"No changes, my friend. Just fine-tuning."

Jasper snorted. "Yeah, okay. _Fine-tuning._ So is it gonna be ready, or not? Have you even tested that thing?"

Monty glanced up. "I'm hurt that you would doubt me." He smirked. "I've been building this _thing_ for months. Of course it's ready. And her name is Swiss Miss."

"Swiss Miss? You actually _named_ your drone?"

"I name all my drones, doofus. She's the Swiss Army knife of drones, hence the name. You'll see."

Jasper chuckled. "Fair enough. I've got all my super-important tools ready too."

"Your pen and notepad?"

"Obviously. Someone has to write the kickass article for tomorrow."

Monty rolled his eyes. "You're ridiculous."

"Takes one to know one!"

"That doesn't even make sense."

Jasper punched his friend's arm and laughed. "Shut up, nerd." He checked his watch. "Okay, it's almost time. You're sure you can operate the drone from here?"

"Positive. Open the window and I'll send her out. We're just a couple floors higher than the rooftop, so this is a pretty good height to see everything that's about to go down. And there's plenty of light outside, so let's flip off the ones in here because we don't want to chance them seeing us and knowing exactly where it's being operated from."

"That drone is monstrous. Way bigger than the last one."

"That's because this one has a lot more to do." Monty grinned as the machine whirred to life. "This is gonna be epic."

* * *

_*8:45 PM*_

"Raven, I sure hope you know what you're doing."

"Octavia, relax, okay? Of course I know what I'm doing. Lexa gave me the blueprints for the building, so I've calculated everything perfectly."

Octavia chuckled. "Raven Reyes, just as cocky as ever."

"Octavia Blake, just as skeptical as ever."

"Hey, I'm lead detective in this city. Being skeptical is part of the job description."

Raven smirked. "Okay, I'll give you that one, Detective. Fair point." She removed her phone from her back pocket as an alarm went off. "It's a quarter to nine. Time to move."

Octavia nodded. "My men have the three-block perimeter established, like you requested. No civilians will be getting in."

"Good. Then I guess I'll see you on the other side."

"See ya, Reyes. Good luck."

* * *

_*8:55 PM*_

"Okay, guys, just a few minutes until nine. Everyone in position?" Clarke heard a chorus of assents chime into her ear. "Good. And thanks for the comms system here, Octavia. These wired earpieces are definitely easier than walkie talkies."

The detective chuckled. "No problem, Griffin. We haven't used walkies in years."

Clarke took a deep breath. "Ready, Lex?"

"Yep. I'm walking now. Phase One commencing."

Clarke was positioned on the rooftop of an office building just east of City Hall with a bird's eye view of everything that was about to unfold. The building just behind it was where Jasper and Monty should be, though she couldn't tell exactly where they were - and that was a good thing. _If I can't see them, Nia won't either._ She could see the full area of the perimeter Octavia had established, and Raven had situated herself somewhere down on the ground.

Every single one of them was absolutely vital to the success of this plan. And to Lexa's survival.

"This place feels like a ghost town," Lexa commented as she approached the building. "I'm literally the only person in sight."

"Good," Raven piped in. "That's the plan."

"Monty, how's the drone?" Clarke asked.

"Ready to go, boss."

"Great. Get it in position so Nia knows we're ready to receive whatever speech she has for the city."

"Okay guys, I'm nearly there," Lexa whispered. "Let's keep the volume down while they've got me - just to be safe."

"Good point, Lex," Clarke said. "I think we all know what to do, so let's keep communication to a minimum from here on out. Good luck, everybody."

Lexa took a deep breath as she walked up the building's stone steps. Two burly men burst from the doors and one of them quickly zip-tied her hands behind her back. She winced at being manhandled but didn't retaliate. Having her hands tied was a small setback, but not entirely unexpected; Nia knew who she was dealing with and would not be taking any chances. The guards patted her down to make sure she was unarmed. As they forced Lexa inside her eyes darted around the building's interior, taking inventory of everything she saw.

"Wow, there must be what, twenty of Nia's henchmen here?" Lexa's commentary was more for the people in her ear than for the sake of small talk. "And all armed with automatic rifles! Are you boys expecting a fight? I'm just a city planner with her hands tied."

The man to her left grunted and gripped her arm tighter as he led her up the stairs. "We've got forty, actually, all throughout the building." He was clearly trying to intimidate her. "And don't think we don't know exactly who you are, _city planner._ "

"Shut up, Drake," said the man to Lexa's right. "We're not here to talk to her."

"Sheesh, boys, just trying to make small talk. Lighten up."

Drake snorted. "Yeah, Nia will lighten you up, that's for sure."

"Shut up, man," his comrade repeated.

"I don't take orders from you, Chris."

Silence fell between them the rest of the way to the rooftop.

Clarke felt the anxiety rising within her every second Lexa remained in the building and out of sight, but was relieved that she could hear the dialogue between her and the guards.

"Lex," Clarke whispered, "There are four men on the roof, one in each corner, armed with rifles, and Nia is in the center waiting for you."

As if on cue, Clarke's phone lit up as Monty's drone began its live broadcast. Nia had seen it approach the building and stepped up to meet it. Nine o'clock on the dot.

"Hello again, Polis." That smooth, smug voice turned Clarke's blood to ice. She couldn't count how many times Nia's words had infiltrated her dreams and filled her with dread. "Luckily for you, I have your city planner, Lexa Woods, in my possession, which means you will be spared from experiencing a rising mortality rate in your city. She will join me here shortly, at which time she will be given the opportunity to admit something that she has kept hidden from you all. Your Polis born and bred civil servant is not all she purports to be, and I think you will be very interested to learn the secrets she has kept from you."

It took all Clarke's willpower not to pull out the handgun Octavia had given her "just in case" to shoot that odious woman this very moment. Clarke imagined Nia would not only force a confession from Lexa about being Nightblood, but would also somehow twist the fact that she had killed Nia's son Roan all those years ago and try to turn the public against her.

Before walking onto the roof Lexa was gagged and blindfolded. Another small wrinkle. She stumbled as she was forced through a door. The wind whipped through her hair and she took a deep breath of the fresh air through her nose.

"Ah, and here she is now." Lexa figured they were now being broadcasted live throughout Polis because Nia was using her too-sweet presenter's voice. Lexa's heart rate felt like it doubled within seconds. She grunted as she struggled against the thugs' increasing pressure on her arms.

"So now you put up a fight, eh?" The one called Drake whispered with a chuckle. They continued to force her forward until Lexa could smell Nia next to her. Nia ripped off the blindfold and Lexa blinked as her eyes adjusted. She was beside Nia near the edge of the vast City Hall rooftop and ten feet in front of them hovered one of Monty's signature drones. Lexa willed her breathing to even out and stared at Nia, the woman who had murdered Costia. Lexa's teeth clenched into the gag and her nostrils flared as she looked at the one person she truly abhorred. If it weren't for the gag she would have spit in her face.

Lexa's grimace was returned with a smirk, then Nia turned back to the drone. She started speaking again, but Lexa heard nothing. The words were like mere drops of water that evaporated as soon as they formed against the broiling hatred emanating from the bound hostage. Drake and Chris dropped their hold on Lexa's arms and stepped back, standing at attention with hands on their rifles.

That small bit of freedom was all Lexa needed. _Time for Phase Two._

In one smooth motion she crouched to the ground, dropped her zip-tied hands under her ass, pulled her legs through, and stood tall with her hands now in front of her. They may have still been tied, but that made her no less lethal. Before anyone could react, Lexa slammed an elbow hard into Chris' jaw, dislocating it and sending him down. She grabbed the rifle from his slackened grip as he hit the ground and rammed the butt of it into Drake's solar plexus as he rushed her from behind. Lexa heard a satisfying crunch that no doubt came from several cracked ribs.

"Stop her!" Nia shrieked.

Lexa pulled the gag from her mouth as the guards from the four corners rushed her with guns raised, commanding her to freeze. Her one security was knowing they wouldn't shoot to kill - not yet - but they certainly wouldn't hesitate to maim.

Six seconds til the first one reached her.

One last swing of the rifle landed hard against the base of Nia's head, crumpling her to the ground.

"Phases Three and Four _now_!" Lexa urged her comrades. As she ran for the edge of the roof, Lexa pulled apart her hands to create maximum tension in the zip ties and thrust down hard against her hip. The force split the plastic and she launched herself into the air.

Only moments before Lexa's leap of faith, Monty cut the broadcast's live video feed and put his Phase Three in motion. Two panels opened on Swiss Miss: from the front a knockout gas grenade was catapulted out past Lexa and into the throng of thugs, from the bottom uncoiled a four-foot rope.

Lexa latched onto the rope with her newly-freed hands just as the first explosion sounded. Her stomach dropped as Swiss Miss dipped a couple feet from her weight, but the drone quickly stabilized and careened away from the compromised building. Lexa watched over her shoulder as the stunned guards collapsed from the gas only seconds before blasts radiated out from within the building.

Earlier that day Raven had used the City Hall blueprints from Lexa to identify key load-bearing points within the building, mounted the explosives, and concealed them from view. They knew Nia and her goons wouldn't dare spend all day in such a public, accessible location, so they took advantage and made their preparations before they arrived. As soon as Raven heard the call for Phase Four, she detonated her bombs and watched the building go boom.

Monty's drone lifted Lexa higher and higher and she watched the building crumble into a mass of rubble and death below her. It was highly unlikely that Nia or her men survived the destruction, and Lexa was surprised to find she felt no amount of guilt or remorse - not when they had planned to kill her and potentially scores of additional innocent civilians.

Lexa smiled as she zoomed closer to the rooftop where Clarke was anxiously awaiting her. She dropped from the rope and watched Swiss Miss zip away.

"We are clear!" Clarke cried triumphantly into her wire. "You all were amazing. Rendezvous at the clinic in fifteen minutes. Over and out."

Clarke disconnected the comms system and crashed into Lexa with a hug that momentarily knocked the wind out of her. Lexa coughed and laughed as she returned the fierce embrace. Clarke pulled back and cupped Lexa's face in her hands. "I can't even tell you how terrified I was just watching you, unable to do anything."

Lexa smiled and placed her hands over the blonde's. "What do you mean? You were the mastermind behind this whole plan! Without you this would have had a much worse ending." Lexa spoke with all the sincerity she could muster as she gazed into those radiant blue eyes. Her voice dropped to a whisper and her expression turned to one of awe. "You saved me, Clarke." Before Clarke could respond, Lexa closed the space between them and pressed their lips together. Lexa's hands dropped to Clarke's waist, drawing her even closer as Clarke's hands wrapped around her neck.

The kisses were fast and heated and needy. They _needed_ to feel each other, whole and complete and _safe._ Clarke's body went into autopilot before her rational mind could even process the wonderful shock of what was happening. Her fingers raked through Lexa's thick hair as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth, eliciting a moan from the other woman. Lexa immediately reconnected their lips, parting them with her tongue. They let themselves sink into each other for several minutes before finally breaking apart with ragged breaths.

Lexa smiled as she leaned her forehead against Clarke's. "We should probably go meet up with the others."

"Right," Clarke muttered, her eyes still closed as the breath from that one word flitted across Lexa's lips. The brunette's body shuddered as the simple sensation teased what they could not now indulge in, but promised more to come.

"I love you, Clarke." Lexa surprised herself as the barely audible words escaped her lips.

Clarke smiled and nodded, their noses brushing up against each other. She opened her eyes. "I love you too."

In what normally might be a moment of more words or explanation when that phrase is first uttered between a pair, nothing more needed to be said between the two in that moment. It was like they understood each other perfectly. Every spoken and unspoken word was clearly communicated in every look and touch and shared experience that led to this point.

Lexa finally broke the silence and furrowed her brow in genuine concern. "But can I ask you a favor?"

"Hey, what's that look for? You can ask anything."

Lexa glanced to the ground, then back up to Clarke. "Because I love you, is it okay if we take this slow for now? I've cared about you for so long, but things have changed a lot recently and I think I just need some time. I don't want this to stop, just to go slow."

Clarke smiled and brought a hand to Lexa's cheek. "Of course, Lex." She chuckled. "I think I'd be a little concerned if you didn't want to take it slow. I want to give you whatever you need, including time."

Lexa returned the smile and gave her hand a squeeze. "Thank you."

They remained rooted to the spot for a long moment, then Clarke gave her a quick peck on the lips and winked. "Let's go."

Five minutes later they were the last ones to arrive outside Clarke's clinic. She unlocked the doors and led the way to the break room where they all dropped onto the couches.

"Guys, that was _so_ friggin' amazing!" Raven looked like she was about to burst. "I mean, I've operated minor explosives before, but to bring down an entire structure? Best day of my life!"

Monty nodded. "Yeah, I've gotta say, after designing Swiss Miss for so long, it was sick to finally put her in action."

"Three cheers for Clarke the genius," Jasper chimed in, "and for Lexa the superhero!" He quickly glanced to Raven. "You didn't know before today that she was Nightblood, right? Monty and I weren't the only ones in the dark?"

Lexa chuckled and spoke up. "No, no one else knew besides Clarke, actually. Now it's the four of you and Detective Blake." She suddenly noticed Octavia's absence. "Where is she anyway?"

"She said she needed to stay behind with her squad and oversee the cleanup," Raven answered.

Lexa nodded. "And I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but this has to stay between us. For Nightblood's success and your own sakes, that anonymity is crucial."

"Aye, aye, captain!" Jasper saluted. "Your secret's safe with us. But it had to be at least kind of cool for you to work with a team, right?"

Lexa laughed. "It was amazing. You were all fantastic."

"Seriously, guys," Clarke added. "What you did tonight was incredible. Monty, I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I saw Lexa flying through the air and the only thing there to keep her alive was your drone."

Monty threw his hands up. "Why does nobody trust my inventions?"

"Maybe because they usually blow up," Jasper muttered, "and that's Raven's department."

"Damn straight!" Raven laughed. "I definitely need to look into becoming a demolition tech."

"Just promise me you won't be experimenting with explosives at home..." Clarke replied.

"The only thing I'll promise, Griff, is that you will survive your time as my roommate. The occasional possessions may catch fire, but you'll be fine."

Clarke laughed. "Thanks for the comforting assurance!" Clarke quickly sobered up when she saw Lexa's expression. "Hey, Lex, what's up? You okay?"

Lexa shook herself out of her daze and saw four pairs of eyes locked on her. "Yeah." She smiled faintly. "Sorry, I just... I can't believe she's gone. Nia has haunted me and this city for years, and she's finally gone."

Clarke gave her leg a reassuring squeeze. "Yes, she is. Nia will never torment anyone ever again. We're free."

"Yeah, until the next nut job rolls into town," Monty commented drily.

"Killjoy," Raven whispered.

"Hey, but it's true, right?" Jasper said. "And when the crazies keep comin', I bet you'll be grateful to have a squad on your side, am I right?"

Lexa's expression cracked into a smile again. "I think I will." She glanced to Clarke. "It's good to have people on your side."

Raven pursed her lips and tried not reveal a knowing grin while Jasper and Monty remained completely oblivious.

Lexa let out a content sigh. This was going to be a good new phase in her life. How could it not be when she was surrounded by so many good people? She looked to Clarke again and smiled, squeezing the hand that still rested on her leg. Lexa knew she was going to be okay again. More than okay - she was going to be _happy._

* * *

EPILOGUE

_*Two years later*_

Clarke rested her back against the door after the last guest had left and she gave a sleepy smile. "That was fun, but I'm glad it's over."

Lexa chuckled. "But there's still an hour left of your birthday. It's not over yet."

"The party is. You know I love our friends, but I also love our peace and quiet."

Lexa walked over and slowly slid her hands down Clarke's arms, down to her hands and intertwined their fingers. "So do I." She leaned in and they indulged in a soft, lingering kiss. "Happy birthday, beautiful."

"Mmm, thank you, my love." Clarke smiled. "You know, it was a year ago today that you gave me a key to your place and asked me to move in with you. This has been the best year of my life."

Lexa couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. "Mine too. Now, are you ready for this year's gift?"

"Yes! Do I need to close my eyes?"

Lexa tugged Clarke's hands and pulled her off the door. "Come sit on the couch first, then close them."

Clarke sank down into the leather cushions and placed her hands over her eyes.

"Stay right there." Thirty seconds later and Lexa was back. "Okay, open up."

Clarke opened her eyes and saw Lexa holding out a white gift box. She arched a curious eyebrow, opened the box, and pulled out the tissue paper. She paused and tilted her head when she saw what was inside.

"You... got me a container of black goop?" Clarke snickered and Lexa smacked her arm playfully.

"Look at it closer. That black goop is face paint. _War paint_."

Clarke's eyes snapped up to Lexa's. "The same stuff you use as Nightblood?"

Lexa nodded and grinned. "You've been taking martial arts classes for the last two years and you've gotten really, really good, Clarke. Don't think I don't know you're not just doing it just for the belts and certificates." The brunette winked. "And I don't want to pressure you, but if you ever wanted to join me out there, I could use a partner with brains like yours."

Clarke felt if her eyes got any wider they'd pop out of her head. "You're kidding."

Lexa laughed. "I'm not! I really think you could handle it if you want to."

"But you've got Octavia and Raven and Monty working with you all the time. You've got loads of help."

Lexa took Clarke's hands in her own. "True, but none of them are actually out there fighting the battles with me. Octavia brings the aid of the police department, and Raven and Monty are tech geniuses, but you know how to form and execute a plan better than anyone I know. I could use that when I'm out there in the thick of things."

Clarke wasn't sure how long her jaw had been hanging before she finally closed it. "Lex, I don't even know what to say."

"You certainly don't have to say anything right now. I'm just putting the idea out there."

"No, I want to do it. I want to be out there helping you. I just figured if I ever asked to help, you would try to convince me it was too dangerous."

Lexa chuckled. "It _is_ dangerous, and I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't worry about you. But the fact that it can be dangerous is exactly why I want and need your help."

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck. "Thank you," she whispered. "This is an incredible gift." Clarke sat back and smiled. "Now it's time for your gift!" She scampered off the couch and into their bedroom.

"My gift?" Lexa called after her. "You do realize this is _your_ birthday, right? Your job is to receive all the presents and adoration."

Clarke returned with her guitar and winked as she sat down. "Believe me, this will be a gift for me just as much as you."

Lexa clapped in delight when she saw the instrument. "What will it be tonight?"

Clarke felt a blush rise to her cheeks. "I wrote you a song, actually."

"Really?"

Clarke nodded. "To the tune of Edelweiss."

"Edelweiss? From _The Sound of Music_?"

"Yes," Clarke replied as she began strumming the introductory chords. "I've taken a few artistic liberties, but you'll recognize the tune. The words, of course, are written especially for you."

Lexa grinned and Clarke smirked. Then she began:

" _Lexa Woods, Lexa Woods,_  
_On the first day I met you_  
_You made me sad, drove me mad;_  
_I wished I could forget you._  
_All my dreams you crushed in your hand,_  
_In your hand forever._  
_Lexa Woods, Lexa Woods,  
__Our ties I wished I could sever."_

Lexa gasped and laughed. "You're such a jerk!"

Clarke snickered. "Shhhh, don't interrupt me! That was just the first verse." She cleared her throat and strummed the beginning chords again.

" _Supergirl, Supergirl,_  
_She became all the rage._  
_Clad in black, on the attack,_  
_Always making the front page._  
_She inspired and gave us hope,_  
_Gave us hope as Nightblood._  
_Supergirl, Supergirl,  
__I thought she was a fine stud."_  

Clarke winked and Lexa giggled at the last line. She started to open her mouth, but Clarke just shushed her again. "Still not done!"

" _Lexa Woods, Lexa Woods,_  
_You began to grow on me._  
_A volunteer, then a peer,_  
_You were more than I thought you'd be._  
_Despite every setback, you still grew,_  
_You still grew stronger._  
_Lexa Woods, Lexa Woods,  
__You help me to be better."_  

Clarke took a deep breath.

" _Supergirl, Lexa Woods,_  
_Turns out you're one in the same._  
_You're in luck - I'm love-struck.  
__Can I take on your surname?"_

Lexa froze mid-laugh. _What did she just say?_

" _Yes, that's right, I'm asking you,  
__Asking you to marry me."_

Clarke got down on one knee.

" _Supergirl, Lexa Woods,  
__My love, will you marry me?"_

When she finished Clarke pulled a small box out of her pocket and opened it to reveal a ring.

Lexa dropped to her knees in front of Clarke. She let out a surprised laugh as tears streamed down her face. "Yes, Clarke, of course."

Clarke barely set her guitar down in time as Lexa pulled her into a tight embrace. The blonde laughed. "Hey, wait!"

Lexa shook her head and smiled as she kissed her.

"I have to put it on your finger!" Clarke mumbled with their lips pressed together.

"It can wait a few more minutes," Lexa protested. "Besides, it will be on my finger for the rest of my life."

Clarke processed what Lexa had just said and gazed at her in adoration. "Do you really mean that? The rest of your life?"

Lexa flashed a wide grin. "Of course. That's the point of marriage, right? I want you and no one else. Forever."

Clarke nodded as her eyes began to water. "Yeah, it's just... I've never thought of another person in terms of _forever_ before now. And then to hear you say you want the same thing... It's incredible and overwhelming in the best way."

Lexa smiled. "Come here, you." She pulled Clarke into her lap and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist. "I do want you for forever. I'm only jealous you beat me to the ring."

Clarke's head fell back in laughter. "Tonight just seemed right. And having you say yes is the greatest gift I've ever received."

Lexa smirked. "Then what in the world am I supposed to do for you birthday next year? And all the birthdays after that?"

Clarke smiled and pressed her lips to Lexa's collarbone. She traced slow, featherlight kisses up her neck, along her jaw, and back to her lips. "All I need is you, Lex. All I need is you."


End file.
